tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53948172012-03-08T10:57:51.464-08:00LA-based blogger writes about her riveting life.Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.comBlogger4341100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-68370439304299369192012-02-29T07:19:00.000-08:002012-02-29T07:19:40.953-08:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-86852218720634143872012-02-24T08:01:00.000-08:002012-02-24T08:11:52.288-08:00

or maybe that should be “still sick,” or perhaps “sick for four fucking weeks.” yep, four fucking weeks of the flu, a sinus infection and then a sinus re-infection. in that time, i went to the doctor twice, missed five days of work, had violent coughing fits that just fell short of vomitting, filled wastebaskets with tissues covered in brown mucus, left ricola wrappers all throughout my house,

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-27050466205025632492012-02-14T10:04:00.000-08:002012-02-14T13:50:51.530-08:00

i realize how absolutely cliché it is to say you hate valentine’s day because it’s an evil nonholiday created by Hallmark to stimulate consumerism and what about the other days of the year you should show your sweetie you love them? blah, blah. we’ve all heard it. and while all of it may be true, it’s completely unrelated to my disdain for this evil nonholiday, which will forever be symbolic of

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-70696804749393100392012-02-03T11:02:00.000-08:002012-02-03T12:07:08.517-08:00

this week, i was taken down by a very nasty flu — and i mean “taken down” the way a sniper’s bullet takes you down. i was sicker than i’ve been in years. i went to work with a scratchy throat one tuesday morning and came home after lunch with chills and body aches. then i spent the next three days in bed with my head in a fog, wallowing in self-pity. i did engage in a few other activities, which

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-90698387403104914872012-01-30T08:32:00.000-08:002012-01-30T08:32:52.248-08:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-91341489983961106462012-01-21T12:09:00.000-08:002012-01-21T12:09:29.374-08:00

mom: so i was talking to some of my girlfriends, honey, and you know how we often talk about our kids. me: yep. please don’t tell me you’re going to try to set me up with one of their sons. mom: no, of course not. i know you like to pick your own men. anyway, one of them told me how doctors can freeze your eggs now so you can use them later when you’re ready to have kids. me: really, mom? has

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-9741638670659043902012-01-17T22:55:00.000-08:002012-01-17T22:58:18.525-08:00

i know i’m late to the barbecue with this as the iPhone has been around since 2007, but i only recently joined the ranks of smartphone users. i was overdue for an upgrade of my ancient fliptop and when the guy at Radio Shack told me i could get a coveted iPhone 4S for a third of the price, my jewish pragmatism kicked in and i went for it. i had been resisting this since forever as i spend enough

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-43186006016579563932012-01-05T21:09:00.000-08:002012-01-08T10:54:26.455-08:00

greetings, 2012! i’m sure you will pass in a flash in the same way other years have provided you don’t end the world in a flash as some have predicted you will. for the record, i don’t think you will. i do think you’ll continue to shake things up as your brethren have in recent years, though i don’t think you’ll be as dramatic and i really hope we can be friends. i’ve always preferred

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-69926593621532522902011-12-31T17:30:00.000-08:002011-12-31T17:41:10.738-08:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-79085925027644983172011-12-26T14:26:00.000-08:002011-12-26T18:54:25.030-08:00

cue the world’s smallest violin for the typical lamentations that come with the ending of another year. despite having very few reasons to complain, i always seem to arrive here feeling like a pile of crap. the year has flown over me like a rocket in space, just like every other year does, yet i still find myself disturbed by the passage of time and how it refuses to stop for me. because as

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-23262352416294297162011-12-10T11:21:00.000-08:002011-12-10T17:08:10.860-08:00

remember this piece of shit? that pink monstrosity that sat on a hill looking ugly? yeah, that was my old house. thankfully, it’s nothing like my new house. another angle of the turd: these before photos are shocking to me. it’s as though they speak to some former era of my house’s life when it was living in the wrong skin — before the sex change operation that brought it to its rightful

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-25261974578550905812011-12-04T20:52:00.000-08:002011-12-04T20:52:16.928-08:00

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-73872014222312826472011-11-29T18:18:00.000-08:002011-11-29T18:21:20.468-08:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-75455039231082828892011-11-19T10:24:00.000-08:002011-11-19T10:33:16.815-08:00

the past few weeks have been stressful and a half for a multitude of reasons that i won’t get into right now. of course the house is the biggest stressor and no, it’s not done yet. quit asking me. i also thought it would be done by now given that construction has lasted well over 100 days, but no cigar or finished house. currently the deck is holding things up with its design, which has become

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-31904872003664574982011-11-07T21:09:00.000-08:002011-11-07T21:09:31.880-08:00

trash pit: Operation: Home Remodel produced an epic amount of trash, much of which sat in my front yard. this is where i need to thank my endlessly patient neighbors, who never once complained about the trash, the noise or the eyesore that was my house for months. instead, i was offered praise, encouragement and even a few thumbs-up when they drove down the hill. so thank you, neighbors, for

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-595372827037934592011-10-29T13:00:00.000-07:002011-11-01T09:07:24.778-07:00

day 57: it took two weeks for the siding to arrive, a time when the crew busied themselves with interior work like trimming the new windows and filling my house with dust, while my contractor cheated on me with another job. i was quite cranky during this time, as nearly two months of banging, drilling, sawing and stapling had worn my patience down to its nubs, but as with most things concerning

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-58652863359830981472011-10-29T08:33:00.000-07:002011-11-29T18:21:33.546-08:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-46509953102083663992011-10-19T07:00:00.000-07:002011-10-19T14:09:22.241-07:00

kitchen completed: this table has actually been in the kitchen since last summer and was a parting gift from my ex, Mo the architect, who had been building it in the garage when things between us began to sour. truthfully, given how tense things were back then i never expected him to finish it, but he surprised me by bringing the completed table into the kitchen about a week before he moved out

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-24583720610938086682011-10-10T21:49:00.000-07:002011-10-11T09:40:12.896-07:00

i fasted this year for Yom Kippur, something i haven’t done in over 10 years. i’m not even sure why i did it — probably to prove to myself that i could. anyone who’s read this blog for any length of time has probably guessed that i’m not a very religious Jew. i love bacon cheeseburgers and gentiles way too much for that. but being Jewish is definitely part of who i am, even if it’s not the main

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-29695092410463915792011-10-05T07:05:00.000-07:002011-10-08T10:40:59.074-07:00

door to nowhere: with the deck demolished, the time had come to work on the ground floor of the house, which isn’t much of a floor at all. it’s just a small basement with a washer/dryer, toilet and sink, plus a hallway for storage. i’m pretty sure people were living there once upon a time, given the toilet and sink, electrical outlets and cable TV hookup. churning: the plan was always to

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-76523952991805696962011-09-28T22:04:00.000-07:002011-09-28T22:05:21.784-07:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-41359797595179325822011-09-25T20:53:00.000-07:002011-09-25T20:53:32.205-07:00

pretty sure i died on that hike. pretty sure it was a bad idea, and this is where i need to clarify that it was not my idea, because i generally don’t have bad ideas as long as we don’t count a few unfortunate hairstyles in high school. (ok, maybe last year’s brazilian blowout was also a bad idea.) my best friend, Jon-David, was in LA for a weekend, his birthday weekend, a weekend he had been

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-12113077043427792572011-09-19T07:36:00.000-07:002011-09-24T19:58:23.910-07:00

the windows: most of the new windows were installed by the end of the second week. i went with the Milgard brand because it’s super awesome and because it offered a WoodClad Series that mimics the appearance of wood while being the more affordable fiberglass. the doors: i was beyond thrilled to see the old deck door go — with its too many mullions that mimicked a jail cell. almost every

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-25200083569837556942011-09-06T07:44:00.000-07:002011-09-06T14:28:59.873-07:00

sadly, there’s not much else happening besides Operation: Home Remodel, which has entered its sixth week. i was fine with everything until about a week ago, when the orchestra of hammers, drills and saws that has been the soundtrack of my life again woke me up too early on a saturday morning. i was lying in bed, feeling sleep deprived as usual, my two nervous dogs pacing the room and whining

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-50319996630852166792011-09-01T07:36:00.000-07:002011-09-19T13:48:21.441-07:00

danger, danger: wrapping the perimeter of my house with CAUTION tape was the first thing the crew did when they arrived. it was a Monday, the first day of August 2011, and Operation: Home Remodel had officially begun. step 2: a huge plastic sheet appeared at the side of the house that separates me from my closest neighbor. this was to catch any debris that would (surely) result from the

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-39847848645804825532011-08-30T07:41:00.000-07:002011-08-30T07:41:17.110-07:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-11051836172206142162011-08-09T23:11:00.000-07:002011-08-09T23:28:07.493-07:00

my little piece of earth: it’s cute, isn’t it? yeah, i don’t really think so either, but it will be after a crew comes to strip it, flip it and rub it down. this entails changing out all the doors and windows, replacing the cracked and peeling siding with redwood and rebuilding the deck. side view: my house is on a hillside, which may sound sexy in theory, but in practice it can be

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-91860383224699140742011-08-05T21:43:00.000-07:002011-08-05T21:45:43.877-07:00

the 14th time i turned 21: was just like the last 14, or so it seemed. i don’t remember too much about that night beyond the fact that there were friends and alcohol all around me. but unlike the first time i turned 21, i wasn’t in vegas with my head in a toilet. i was at a local bar drinking top-shelf vodka with a raised pinky. however, as this photo demonstrates, i will still clearly acting

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-45015805052681037692011-07-31T12:45:00.000-07:002011-07-31T12:45:14.058-07:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-68891585493824631962011-07-28T17:45:00.000-07:002011-07-28T17:45:00.543-07:00

hello and goodbye, july! thanks for flying by with a wave, a wink and a smack on the ass. you’ve been quite hectic, alternating between crazy busy and wholly uneventful — with nap-filled, lazy days followed by full-agenda days that last well into the night. not that i have any complaints. in fact, you’ve been pretty good to me. great even. though i sense that’s about to change when august flies

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-56144154228526655322011-06-30T22:30:00.000-07:002011-07-01T19:49:33.928-07:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-38078001723010868762011-06-27T10:50:00.000-07:002011-06-27T10:50:53.966-07:00

seems like it was just yesterday that i was turning 30 and having a panic about it, and here comes 35 barreling toward me, reminding me that it could be so much worse. “wait until you turn 40,” i can hear my older friends saying, to which i reply, “ok, i’ll wait.” of course, i know this birthday doesn’t have to be a thing unless i make it a thing, and clearly i am making it a thing. which doesn’

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-84926504142617993202011-06-11T20:20:00.000-07:002011-06-11T20:20:56.065-07:00

i’ve come to see that planning a home remodel is akin to unraveling an enigma wrapped in a riddle that’s stuffed in a mystery. every question just begets more questions, with every answer impacting every other answer. i would just rather this whole thing be wrapped in bacon and stuffed in a block of cheese. not only does this scenario sound far more delicious, its heart-clogging properties might

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-35562691360216097852011-05-28T12:52:00.000-07:002011-05-28T12:52:48.103-07:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-30161021388887719562011-05-18T15:40:00.000-07:002011-05-18T16:56:43.725-07:00

this will likely be the first of many posts in which i will shill products, places and things that i’m into. or maybe this will be the only post of its kind and i’ll never do it again. i will rely on you, sexy reader, to tell me if this is helpful or a total waste of time (like all my other posts), so please speak up, sexxxy. but before i begin, i should disclose that i’m getting no compensation

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-61377969465596565362011-05-15T21:50:00.000-07:002011-05-15T21:54:11.922-07:00

all the socializing i’ve been engaging in lately has made it hard to find time to blog. i know that you’re rooting for me in this not-at-all-difficult time and i thank you for your prayers and continued support as i carry on with my hectic schedule of dinners, parties, concerts, art openings, group hikes and meetups at bars. regular blogging will probably resume never as i know roughly 10

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-39589690073072657302011-05-01T20:41:00.000-07:002011-05-01T20:41:49.300-07:00

that’s not a typo. it’s been pretty shitty lately. i had a hell of a time renewing my homeowner’s insurance policy this year. the problem: my deck. an adjuster who came out for a completely unrelated issue about 9 months ago decided she didn’t like it and said my policy shouldn’t be renewed because of it. of course i only found this out when the policy was up for renewal a few months ago. after

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-139230835222855272011-04-30T10:54:00.000-07:002011-04-30T10:54:06.053-07:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-19080848984625710922011-04-11T18:34:00.000-07:002011-04-11T18:37:23.449-07:00

i wish i could claim that i’ve been busy curing cancer or making plans to attend a royal wedding, but that’s not why i’ve been such a slacker about blogging lately. the truth is that i’ve been taking secret meetings with the illuminati, who have been reviewing my manifesto on how to bring about world peace (they rejected it). i’ve also been occupied with several other Very Important Things, some

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-52003816333089046122011-03-29T07:51:00.000-07:002011-03-29T07:51:37.569-07:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-17522937382668459362011-03-16T07:54:00.000-07:002011-03-16T14:11:50.976-07:00

the OG: Juice will be 9 years old this year. this blows me away. i’ve had her since she was six weeks old, a time when i used to carry her around in my purse. she weighs 70 pounds now. it’s not an exaggeration to say she’s a stunning dog in every way. no one ever fails to comment on her beauty, to ask what her breed is (shepherd mutt), to notice how soft her fur is, how sweet her demeanor is

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-47016570919774999002011-03-03T21:25:00.000-08:002011-03-04T07:42:54.579-08:00

because meditation, yoga and a meatless february haven’t rendered me boring enough, i figured that adding a little acupuncture to my life would be just the thing needed to complete my transformation into a humorless hippie. soon, i’m sure i’ll be living in an ashram in Big Sur, where i will eat twigs and be known by the name of Fairy Dust. (or maybe Farty Dust given the amount of vegetables i’ve

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-83707132944226065472011-02-26T14:05:00.000-08:002011-02-26T14:05:30.911-08:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-80980244109665508012011-02-15T17:49:00.000-08:002011-03-03T21:27:50.178-08:00

yeah, baby. cue the sexy music. it’s the update on my romantic life, an update you have surely been breathlessly awaiting, you voyeuristic pervert. but before you bring out the box of tissues to shed a tear or do whatever else you might need tissues for, pause the sexy music and put your binoculars away because i’m not revealing much. truthfully, there isn’t much to reveal. i am still single —

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-23549809780300909522011-01-31T19:06:00.000-08:002011-02-01T07:16:16.661-08:00

when i haven’t been freakishly blissful and appreciating the moment, i have been thinking a lot about The Future. most of my thoughts about This Future are centered on goals i’d like to achieve and poorly formed plans about how to best achieve them. sometimes the goals are as nebulous and far-fetched as the plans, with many trains of thought leading into a daydream about winning the lottery.

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-88986177334075533052011-01-28T07:56:00.000-08:002011-01-28T07:59:36.106-08:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-19460976971879845662011-01-23T19:24:00.000-08:002011-03-03T21:27:50.179-08:00

i know how terribly interesting this must be to read: a blog post about how i don’t feel like blogging lately. writing about writing is the very definition of uninspired writing — it’s interesting only to other writers but only barely since it’s not very interesting at all. far more interesting are well-written stories about a riveting, enviable life, which is why i’d understand if you stopped

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-22757811254850037622011-01-09T18:42:00.000-08:002011-01-09T18:43:45.705-08:00

howdy, 2011 — welcome to the world! nine days in, you’re already kicking ass and taking names. let’s hope your happy momentum stays and builds to a brilliant crescendo that lasts through the entire year. so far, everything you have touched has been infused with good vibrations, and not just for this month but for the past few weeks, a time in which a few notable things happened: holidaze: this

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-14141393627828958982010-12-30T23:46:00.000-08:002010-12-30T23:46:24.383-08:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-88013021386940732542010-12-22T19:20:00.000-08:002010-12-27T22:56:13.153-08:00

as the saying goes, another day, another dollar, and another year, another broken resolution. still, i keep making them, hoping against hope that i can rid myself of a few pesky bad habits that cling to me like leeches. hopefully i will score points just for trying. as they also say: it’s the thought that counts. though when i consider last year’s list of resolutions, my track record doesn’t

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-26211482911641216802010-12-01T22:30:00.000-08:002010-12-03T13:20:42.297-08:00

the life: Newport had never been on my list of cities i really wanted to see and i admit that my first impression of it wasn’t exactly positive. i’m not sure if it was the lack of diversity or the abundance of adirondack chairs, but i felt as though i had entered a country club where everyone but me owned a yacht. it was big pimpin, whereas i was only pimpling, and the first day i spent in town

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-58590674435401378092010-11-29T08:16:00.000-08:002010-11-29T08:16:52.332-08:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-14301999309888363292010-11-22T21:05:00.000-08:002010-11-23T08:26:00.298-08:00

this thanksgiving, i am all gratitude and no attitude. in fact, i am erupting with love like a geyser — love for my friends and family, my health and house, my dogs and job, and every other person, place and thing that has caused a smile to cross my face. i don’t take any of it for granted, not even for one second. i count my blessings every day and recognize that i’m one lucky bitch. i know how

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-81902101101574487632010-10-31T13:55:00.000-07:002010-10-31T13:55:47.703-07:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-83313347070701714512010-10-30T11:48:00.000-07:002010-10-31T21:30:59.600-07:00

i don’t know why the passage of time still manages to surprise me with the way it just marches ahead and disregards everything else around it. but here i am again, bemoaning the changing of the seasons, lamenting over the lost summer and marveling at the fact that november is around the corner, dragging a gaggle of holidays behind it. and then comes the new year, which will certainly pass in a

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-8933522238448541082010-10-05T18:45:00.000-07:002010-10-06T07:56:02.896-07:00

the daytrippers: when we weren’t eating, drinking and laughing with my family in Baltimore, my parents and i managed to squeeze in a daytrip to Washington, D.C., which is roughly a 90-minute car ride away. we split up when we got there, with my folks heading to the Smithsonian Museum to drool over the Hope Diamond and me heading to The Newseum to drool over the museum for journalism.

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-84027981525630118892010-09-27T07:38:00.000-07:002010-09-27T11:40:04.907-07:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-76750039288924766002010-09-21T23:07:00.000-07:002010-10-06T08:19:25.315-07:00

warning: this blog post contains photos of russian food, vodka and members of my big fat russian family. these elements were the main fixtures of the first stop of my train tour up the east coast: Baltimore, Maryland, where my father’s two siblings and their families live. my parents and i paid them a visit over the recent Labor Day holiday. hijinks and hilarity ensued. well, not really, but a

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-5914550850585127732010-09-14T10:45:00.000-07:002010-09-14T10:45:11.298-07:00

considering that i explored the West Coast on last year’s vacation — a roadtrip titled Eat, Drive, See — i decided to go East for this year’s vacation, a 10-day long train trip that had me sitting on the Amtrak, traveling from Maryland to Maine. i made six stops along the way, visited with seven friends and slept in five different beds. the stops included Baltimore, Maryland, for a visit with

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-16104056093514937872010-09-01T07:48:00.000-07:002010-09-01T12:18:56.102-07:00

this post is terribly overdue. i will blame the delay on work again, as that’s proven to be a good scapegoat for all the things i’ve been too lazy to accomplish this past month. of course, this is a lousy excuse because welcoming a new roommate into my life and home is BIG news, so BIG that i hit the CAPS LOCK button. her name is WENDY, though she’s known in other circles as Guendy,

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-6606196608744596762010-08-27T16:55:00.000-07:002010-08-27T16:56:38.538-07:00

...search terms inexplicably pulling up this blog... "the whole universe is against me" george landmark crazy self help milla goldenberg boyfriend ferris bueller looking at art#i=1 "jdate horror stories" a reasonable life is the lowest form of living tiny milky tit sears tower spilt cigarette how to diaper a teenager lab puppy with french manicure does satan smell like a skunk

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-32165019079102839002010-08-25T07:59:00.000-07:002010-08-25T08:03:13.105-07:00

here’s proof that all the time i’ve spent neglecting this blog has been time well spent. i’m pretty stoked to be writing about reality television, a long-standing guilty pleasure of mine. now if i could only figure out how to parlay my addiction to taco sauce into a career, i’d be set. the first article ranks the 10 best and 5 worst reality TV competitions of all time. i’ll confess only to you

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-20012784285605189112010-08-22T21:12:00.000-07:002011-03-03T21:27:50.180-08:00

needless to say, these past few months have been a bit wonky for me, with fallout that i’m still trying to process. if i’m proud of anything at all, it’s that my process as a 34-year-old is so much healthier than it was at 24 when i was more prone to self-destructive behavior. all i will say about that time is thank god this blog didn’t exist back then. today, my process is much tamer,

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-81834653927872315322010-08-05T12:00:00.000-07:002010-08-05T12:00:01.525-07:00

all the comments from the first seven years of this blog have vanished. i’m trying to be all zen about it, but i’m royally pissed off. i’m mostly pissed at myself for ignoring the emails i got notifying me that my old comments service provider, Haloscan, was being taken over and dissolved, taking its database of comments with it. i should have paid more attention to it, i realize, but i was

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-12380086411208944882010-07-28T07:51:00.000-07:002010-07-28T07:51:54.633-07:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-45241198321935107802010-07-13T19:04:00.000-07:002010-07-13T19:09:11.719-07:00

i’ve been struggling with this post and too many times considered deleting it. i thought i didn’t really need it, that the people closest to me already know this stuff, and that in the interest of moving on i should just move on and never mention that whole breakup thing again. i worried about writing something i’ll regret, recognizing that the way i feel today is not indicative of the way i’ll

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-26540042072397194562010-07-07T22:05:00.000-07:002010-07-08T07:44:10.830-07:00

cancers rule: because my house is still not ready to receive an influx of guests, the annual birthday party this year was (again) a joint venture held at Raidis’ house and featured a star-studded cast of friends who helped us celebrate our big day in style. the style: i bought a red dress for the occasion — new shoes, too! — had my makeup professionally done by a kind neighbor and endured this

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-71750127169819978282010-07-01T07:48:00.000-07:002010-07-02T12:54:48.599-07:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-22262119918093498002010-06-28T09:57:00.000-07:002010-06-28T10:15:01.080-07:00

well, hello there. how are you? i am fine, thanks for asking. did i mention it was my birthday recently? i turned 34, which is one of those weird interstitial ages, the bookend of the coveted 18-34 demographic. i suppose i have one year left to be trendy and watch MTV. after then, it’s sensible shoes and VH1. this birthday sort of snuck up on me, but i’m glad it did. it’s like a cab that

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-16963033070863893422010-06-22T08:36:00.000-07:002010-06-22T11:21:50.088-07:00

(sorry for the delay in publishing this sucker. if you missed my earlier essays on my Landmark experience, you can find them here; read from the bottom.) “life is meaningless and we are meaning-making machines.” this is the crux of the Landmark Forum, the conclusion we arrived at after three grueling days of instruction. everything had led up to this, the big transformative lecture, given sunday

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-7134611675274305392010-06-07T19:45:00.000-07:002010-06-07T20:06:04.610-07:00

i’m single again. actually, i’ve been single for months but circumstances kept Mo and i living together until he was able to secure new accommodations and move out, which he did just a few days ago. so now i’m living alone again, which i suppose makes me officially single. to commemorate the occasion, i made the (always dramatic) status change on Facebook, moving from In a Relationship to

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-67810667252934886422010-05-31T23:59:00.000-07:002010-06-01T10:21:52.733-07:00

as expected, searches for the Landmark Forum have invaded the keywords pulling up my blog this month. and yes, i know i owe you the last installment of my Landmark experience. (it will be published this week, promise!) the best of the non-Landmarkian others are below. site:millatimes.com diaper chronicles of extermination guy on reality tv show gets sprayed by a skunk video wife, tits, blogspot

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-68216292097137166062010-05-26T13:00:00.000-07:002010-05-26T13:35:59.534-07:00

Photo courtesy Osmosis Online Dish-Interested: Cancel American Idol Has anyone besides me been watching the hot mess that is American Idol this season? And if you have been watching, do your eyes and ears also regularly revolt against you by spontaneously catching fire? Granted, it’s not the worst piece of entertainment that ever existed, but it’s so much worse than it used to be that it’s

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-78201582612417319732010-05-14T10:59:00.000-07:002010-05-14T11:02:01.587-07:00

because i can never be busy enough, i've taken on Reality TV Writer duties for Metacritic, an awesome website that gets actual traffic (unlike this one). my first piece had me writing about the hottest reality shows to keep you cool this summer. wow, did i actually write that? i can't believe they hired me to put sentences together, though i'm glad they did because it means i'm that much closer

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-70805365477749126542010-05-12T13:00:00.000-07:002010-05-13T07:11:44.033-07:00

when i haven’t been busy writing up my experience at the Landmark Forum (final installment forthcoming), i have been busy with other stuff, none of it particularly “transformative.” there are other writings going on, some of which will be published here soon enough, and there are life-in-flux changes going on, also soon-to-be published. in general, life has been alright in that could-be-better,

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-58205671992213024352010-05-06T21:08:00.000-07:002010-05-06T21:08:31.774-07:00

i came late to class on the third day — intentionally. landmark made such a fuss over being on time for everything, claiming that we lacked integrity if we were even one minute late, that i tried to be late as much as possible. i arrived only 10 minutes after class began that morning and was thankfully spared the pestering phone call from Landmark asking if i planned to attend that day (i think

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-76847996279101571242010-04-30T10:14:00.000-07:002010-04-30T10:14:08.877-07:00

Photo courtesy of Osmosis Online By now we’ve all heard about the marital woes between Sandra Bullock and Jesse James, the latest Hollywood couple to go up in flames in an epic cheating scandal of Tiger Woods proportions. Beyond taking the focus off of Tiger — who I hope sent Jesse a thank-you note — this scandal features another celebrity who, like Tiger, tried to pin his sluttiness on a sex

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-62927860135092232202010-04-27T22:46:00.000-07:002010-04-27T22:46:35.672-07:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-64826827634775743752010-04-24T19:08:00.000-07:002010-07-14T09:35:21.609-07:00

while the first day of the Forum felt long and uncomfortable and third day felt dramatic and surreal, the second day fell somewhere in between. it also felt long, though not quite as draggy, and events did move into surreal territory as the vacuum created by 75 isolated people being lectured to nonstop began producing odd moments that could not be replicated in the outside world. the day

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-44773552165919705612010-04-17T18:12:00.000-07:002010-04-18T09:35:04.695-07:00

unless you are reading this by braille, you may have noticed that i gave the ole bloggy a little facelift. i wasn’t planning to, but Blogger decided to discontinue its support of ftp publishing, which i had been using since this blog’s inception in 2003. that meant i had to switch a bunch of things, reconfigure a bunch of other things, beg my webmaster to write some javascript that would redirect

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-1300989912380267922010-04-15T20:11:00.000-07:002010-04-17T23:08:28.219-07:00

so what happens at the Landmark Forum? it is no exaggeration to say it would take three days to tell the whole story, the first two of which would be spent chipping away at your personal identity, before replacing it on the third day with everything Landmark. in short, the curriculum centers on self-reflection, with exercises that ask participants to examine their patterns of thinking and beliefs

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-56716243102575572082010-04-06T13:02:00.000-07:002010-04-17T23:08:28.219-07:00

this has to be the most expensive blog entry i’ve ever written. its monetary cost is approximately $420, which doesn’t include the $3 a day parking, plus the cost of all meals, snacks and drinks i consumed while attending The Landmark Forum, a three-day seminar that promises to transform the lives of its attendees in profound, permanent and meaningful ways. i could insert a snarky joke here about

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-84781162572483910262010-03-27T10:08:00.000-07:002010-03-27T10:23:01.236-07:00

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Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-86453533792739136612010-03-24T22:34:00.001-07:002010-03-24T22:34:55.347-07:00

i celebrated TWO big anniversaries this month, one of which produces money while the other just sucks it out of me. if you guessed the anniversaries of 1) being employed at my current job and 2) buying my house, award yourself 10 points.i’m still in disbelief that i really have spent five whole years working at my job — a job i was sure i’d hold for just two or three years when i started. i’m

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-73221005090723842362010-03-19T11:27:00.000-07:002010-03-19T11:32:09.874-07:00

Photo courtesy Matt Graves With the death of Corey Haim the other week, the Two Coreys became just one. This is tragic not only because it puts the final nail in the coffin of Corey Feldman’s languishing career, but also because it puts another celebrity in a coffin. We’ve seen plenty die over the years — child actors as well as the adults — due to drug abuse, their own recklessness and sometimes

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-21058066455969759682010-03-13T13:13:00.000-08:002010-03-13T13:14:00.391-08:00

meaty march: after four weeks of eating nothing but fresh veggies and fish — and feeling fantastic physically — i undid any benefit it gave my body in the first three days of march by consuming an obscene meat cornucopia that included bacon burgers and tacos filled with carne asada, carnitas, al pastor and birria. i felt guilty about exactly NONE of it, even when the stomach pains rendered me

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-27879152076610137272010-02-27T15:51:00.000-08:002010-02-27T15:52:34.633-08:00

the before shot: the original coffee station consisted of one of Mo’s old bookshelves that was repurposed to hold the mugs. it was simple and functional, and i was happy with it. though Mo felt it didn’t match the rest of the kitchen, which was more stylized. he thought the area needed some pizzazz. did i just write “pizzazz”? we went to our home away from home, Ikea, to get some ideas. Mo

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-82157244405015346942010-02-25T18:42:00.000-08:002010-02-25T18:54:05.753-08:00

this month’s search terms inexplicably pulling up this blog are all about the sexxxy time. and now that i wrote “sexxy,” i will get a million variations of “sexxxy milla fucking sex tit cock dog.” and now that i wrote that, well, you know...girls with big feet and barking coughheavily pierced tits hanging out of corseti love hating sarah palinskunk smell satanistdating@hotmail.comfree pictures of

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-43887734927718829242010-02-23T08:07:00.000-08:002010-02-23T15:05:33.443-08:00

got two more stories published on Osmosis Online, neither of which is a Dish-Interested piece. i don’t think i’ll be doing too many non-Dish pieces as i don’t have a ton of bandwidth lately, but these two were easy to repurpose and timely for Valentine’s Day. first up is a modified version of the blog post i wrote recently about my dad’s heart surgery. big thank you to all who reached out and

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-33313320856586979292010-02-15T18:02:00.000-08:002010-02-15T18:02:52.903-08:00

i wish i could say it’s been easy, but the truth is i’ve been fantasizing about all manner of meat since day one. the cravings have been pretty steady, waning only slightly in the past few days as i’ve renewed my dedication to make it to the end of the month with no cheating and, perhaps, even extend it into march. the maddening, constant hunger of the first week has also finally passed, leaving

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-78018274500312391742010-02-12T10:11:00.000-08:002010-02-12T10:29:55.863-08:00

Photo courtesy Osmosis OnlineIt’s Oscar season, superstars — the time of year all A-listers love! It’s a chance for celebrities to pull themselves away from the hard work they do for humanity each day and enjoy a night of endless fawning and accolades, which we all know makes them very uncomfortable.But they put on a brave, Botoxed face and suffer through a night of dressing up in designer duds,

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-90916678077936602502010-02-06T00:43:00.000-08:002010-02-06T00:44:30.312-08:00

these are words i never care to hear again, especially from my father, who called me the other week to say, “you might want to sit down for this. i went to the cardiologist and he said my heart has a clogged artery. i need to have surgery this friday to open it.” thankfully, i had sat down, though i’m not sure it made the news any easier to hear. it sounded bad, very bad. my father was basically

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-40523963924595094172010-01-30T15:34:00.000-08:002010-01-30T15:44:13.346-08:00

heavy petting to frustrationhope 2010 brings promises of greater heights to conquersunshine daye lesbian wedding"dating a yoga instructor"che guevara rogue brewall russian online sex and friend dating @hotmail.com . emails 2003/2010will the world get destroyed on 2010men drinking and massaging milky breast milla tube galorenipples and big tits on the dinner menuwhy did some homes in the 1930's

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-839649209443211622010-01-26T22:37:00.000-08:002010-04-17T23:07:46.727-07:00

about to get sauced: the big day finally arrived! my baby cousin was going to get married, which was the whole reason behind this trip. thankfully, i had packed a flowy, flowery dress to wear for the occasion that did a good job hiding my emerging beer belly.non-beer belly: my cousin Mike (on the right) and his new bride Kerry are efficient people. not only was their wedding ceremony short and

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-66964571502076364272010-01-24T22:50:00.000-08:002010-01-24T23:04:06.941-08:00

please note that Dish-Interested, my nonsensical celebrity gossip column, now has its own fan page on Facebook! granted, i created the fan page to shamelessly self-promote, but i can't create a million fake user accounts to populate the fan page so you need to either 1) do it for me; or 2) become a fan. (option 2 is easier.) thanks for the support and tell your book publisher friends! what

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-67288788014196675982010-01-18T21:07:00.000-08:002010-01-18T21:33:56.763-08:00

oh hello, blog. how are you? i am fine, thanks for asking. i know it’s been a long time since i’ve given you proper attention. i have a lot of excuses for neglecting you for so long, but none of them are any good. sure, i’ve been keeping busy with freelance work, some socializing, and a few lazy days of reading in bed and watching Jersey Shore online. it’s been a lovely reprieve, to be sure, but

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-91075273186130524742010-01-07T08:16:00.000-08:002010-01-07T08:16:25.285-08:00

i’ll give you one guess who that somebody could be. i suppose it was only a matter of time. the skunk and Pinko had been flirting for months, maybe even a year, with a few near encounters averted only by my seeing the skunk first and screaming at Pinko to GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW, which she would do at lightning speed, confused by why the hell i was yelling. then i would shoo the Pinks back into

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-4856303966005233292010-01-03T22:28:00.000-08:002010-01-03T22:28:52.422-08:00

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-56372231481210883942009-12-29T20:44:00.000-08:002009-12-29T20:53:37.525-08:00

albufeira+happy ending massagetiger woods doughnut waitress case of the sadsdrunk attention whoreaccidentally swallowed shell crab or mussel or clamhow far is eureka from the oregon border?iron pills feeling edgycan i leave room now deo we big finish yeah men"learning tree international" ridiculemexico wastelandshorrendous pierced lactating titscan you eat milla plantpour out a little liquor

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5394817.post-65775025608038151802009-12-22T17:07:00.000-08:002009-12-22T17:08:50.088-08:00

i know i’ve been lousy about posting lately, but it’s the holidays and i’m milking the little downtime i have. more frequent posting will resume after the new year. for now, allow me to send this holiday e-greeting to your mantle, but please do NOT place it next to the card sent by your dentist. he’s a creep. put it next to your favorite friend’s card. a little to the right. that’s better.

Millahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401280709439770084noreply@blogger.com0