Product Placement

cabin in the woods: i’m very lucky as this is my friend’s cabin, which she lets me rent at a reduced rate, but even if she didn’t, i would pay full price because this place is worth all the pennies in the world. it’s situated among redwoods in Russian River, about 90 minutes north of San Francisco. i’ve been there twice in three months, once over new year’s and again just a few weeks ago, both times with my best friend and gay husband, whom i went on the 20-mile hike with. this time around, we went on no hikes and instead filled up our days with home-cooked meals, bottles of local pinot, streamed movies, jigsaw puzzles, daily bubble baths and plenty of relaxation. if that sounds incredible, it was. the cabin sleeps six comfortably and is available for rent year-round. more info at the Russian River Hideaway website. make sure to mention the milla times when making your reservation.



while you’re there: drive to Calistoga, which is an hour east of Russian River, and hit up Indian Springs Resort & Spa for a volcanic ash mudbath. for $85, you’ll be buried to your neck in mud, enjoy a mineral bath (courtesy of Calistoga’s many natural hot springs), sit in a steam room, and then relax with cucumbers on your eyes. a very polite minder is on hand to provide lemon water and usher you through the experience, which will be one of the best hours of your life. trust me, it was amazing and a half. afterwards, go to Michelin-starred Solbar for one of the best meals of your life.



back in LA: you’re gonna want cupcakes, good cupcakes, for your next big event. i heart cupcakes is your spot. i assure you my bias toward this establishment has nothing to do with the fact that it’s run by my good friend and coworker Suzie, because the cupcakes really are delicious — coming in flavors such as chocolate ganache, dulce de leche and baileys and cream. you can’t eat just one.



photo is unrelated: but cute shoes, eh? they’re one of my favorite pairs. anyway, the last recommendation is for the super awesome Writing Pad in Los Angeles, which offers myriad writing courses, many of which i’ve taken in the past year. the classes are small, teachers are awesome, and environment is supportive. i’ve met some great people there — impressive writers and human beings (the founder, Marilyn, being among them). make sure to mention the milla times when signing up so i can get a free class and let me know which class you’re taking so we can take it together.

please remember that i’m not getting paid to endorse anything i’ve written here, which is a damn shame because i have no shame. but, seriously, these are things i really like. hopefully, you’ll really like them, too. and if not, then you probably have bad taste.

Product Placement

this will likely be the first of many posts in which i will shill products, places and things that i’m into. or maybe this will be the only post of its kind and i’ll never do it again. i will rely on you, sexy reader, to tell me if this is helpful or a total waste of time (like all my other posts), so please speak up, sexxxy.

but before i begin, i should disclose that i’m getting no compensation whatsoever from the manufacturers and proprietors for promoting their stuff here. ZERO. this is a damn shame, too, because i’m a total whore for hire who has no problem with kickbacks and schwag, but since i’m not known around the internets for having a lot of readers or being a Blogger People Trust, i don’t normally get those kinds of offers.

this means that my promotion of these things is coming from the kindness of my cold, black heart, which believes that these things may make your life infinitely better in the same way that they’ve made mine. and if not, tough titties. not like those suckers paid me to be their spokesperson anyway.

• speaking of titties: if you are a busty gal like me, head over to Jenette’s Bras in Hollywood, my bra purveyor of choice. the bras there are designed for “the overdeveloped and underserved,” specializing in sizes D through K. (yes, K!) their bras are all well-crafted, with straps that never slip and bands that don’t cut into your skin. i have found some killer bras that make my girls look positively perfect at Jenette’s. and no, i won’t post photos.
  
  
• when nair’s not enough: laser hair removal to the rescue! i found a great place in Pasadena, run by twin armenian sisters, where i’ve gone for several treatments of various body parts (won’t post photos of that either), but trust that the change has been life-altering. getting lasered doesn’t hurt that much, so quit being a big baby about the pain, which is akin to snapping a rubberband on your skin repeatedly. just know that it’s ineffective for people with fine hair, so don’t bother going there if you’re blond as this treatment is only for people with dark, coarse, stubborn hair — probably the one time that having it has ever worked to my advantage.
  
  
• my future ex-husband: i mean, my latest music obsession is a rapper known as Childish Gambino, who is also known as Donald Glover, the actor on Community. beyond being ridiculously hot and stylish, he is a talented actor, writer, musician and standup comedian. i have been obsessed with all his work for the past year and had the chance to see his show at the Music Box in Hollywood a few weeks ago, where he blew me away. i’m sure mega fame and fortune will find him shortly, so i wanted to score cool points by saying that i was listening to his music way before he got as big as Kanye. (and if you’re reading this, Donald, call me!)
  
  
• mmm... barbecue: i recently attended a media event at Wildwood Ovens, a local spot that sells wood-fired ovens and brazilian bbqs to the public in addition to offering cooking classes and hosting private events. i was invited by the lovely food blogger Tuna Toast, a fellow NELA resident who was serving up drool-worthy churrasco and homemade pizza (in addition to wine). considering that the food and booze were free, this may be the only endorsement i have been “paid” to write, but the truth is that i really loved this place and am even thinking of hosting my annual birthday here. you should check it out.
  
  
• self-promotion: i just added a followers widget to the sidebar at the right. please push the button to add me to your blogger feed and validate my existence. and if you need any freelance work that involves the writing, editing or proofreading of words, i’m still hustling like a whore in church (or, alternatively, like a girl who has impending home repairs), so send some my way, pretty please with a churrasco on top. thanks for playing!