The Grind

nothing hot or exciting has popped up in quite some time actually. it's been business as usual lately. had this temp thing for the past few weeks, so that's provided some stability. get into the office at 10am, leave whenever the work runs out or whenever i want to, it's so flexible. the good news is it pays great, more than any journalism job does. bad news is that it's proofreading, and after a few hours of sustained attention to 12-point times new roman black font on a white page, my ass hurts and my eyes are ready to bleed. and it's real proofreading, not even copy editing, as in checking two documents against each other to make sure they match. the job has no soul. i hate it, i hate it, i hate it.

but it pays, so i show up ruddy faced and eager each day, red pen in hand. the best thing about being a temp, though, is that you don't need to look busy or pretend to care. when there's downtime, which is often, i just grab the paper and spread it out on my desk, surf the web unashamedly, hop on the phone to socialize. and when my temporary supervisor walks in with more work, i look up, smile, drop my distractions, deliver the proofreading goods in a jiffy and then resume my downtime activities. it's so chill. but i think the assignment is nearing its end, which means maybe another week off before the agency places me somewhere new. it's not a bad scenario. i have no complaints, and no, still haven't heard from dream job yet.

for lack of that aforementioned unifying theme, i'm providing some news in short:

• i consolidated my loans recently, locked them in at a 2.85% interest rate, which is fabulous, and i managed to make the repayments begin early next year, so that's all golden.


• i was a bad girl and didn't fast for yom kippur like i had planned. in my defense, however, i ate very little and mostly drank coffee throughout the day. still, i kinda felt like an asshole, figuring i had enough sins to atone for this past year. i hope G-d's not too pissed with me. next year, i promise.


• i recently went back to USC for this recruiting event, which wasn't very interesting, but i did have a warm feeling as i visited the campus for the first time since i graduated in may. it really warmed the cockles of my heart, though i'm so glad i'm no longer a student. fuck that.


• yogaman/justin and i are still going strong (in case anyone's curious). we had a little weirdness a short while back but managed to overcome it. we were curled up in bed the other night when i realized that it's been close to six months that he and i have been dating -- SIX MONTHS! that tripped me out, more so because of the passage of time element than anything else, but shit, it's all been zooming by. it's all good, though, we're still all smoochie cutesy, poopsie whoopsie. and oh, did i mention he's been living with me since july?


• movie recommendation of the week is 'super-size me,' which i recently rented on DVD. it's about that guy who eats nothing but mcdonald's for a month straight. in that month, he puts on about 25 pounds and almost annihilates his liver. also enjoyable was the first season of the TV show '24.'


• got my ballot in the mail the other day. i vote in every election (ok, not often in the local ones), and i wear that silly 'i voted' sticker all day, proud of my civics contribution. voting for kerry this year. duh. found the presidential debate rather boring -- didn't hear anything i hadn't heard before elsewhere. hoping the next debate will be better.


• i love this cold weather coming in. i'm gonna try out new recipes and aim to make homemade soup weekly this winter. please email recipes to milla666@aol.com or post in comments.

ok, time for snoozing.

Back to Being Broke as a Big Fat Ugly Joke

boo-hoo. poor me, poor me.

alright, i got the requisite whining out and over with. i am bummed, however. i spent the past five weeks working at a place i really loved with people i really liked doing something that was really interesting. i wanted it to continue, got one extension, but alas, i was a measly vacation relief temp and they are once again fully staffed, so my presence wasn't necessary or justifiable. so i was sprung out again, with no promises on when/if i would be called back.

i think i might be called back, but the when part is the problem. and herein lies my dilemma: do i try to find temp stuff to float me in the here and now while i wait for that phone call from my dream job that may never come? or do i just suck it up and start hunting for full-time, permanent employment elsewhere?

obviously, when it comes to job and financial security, the known is better than the unknown. and this very successful media outlet i was temping for -- a place i've loved and respected for years -- is notorious for keeping temps in limbo for years before offering them permanent employment. they know there's a long line at the door; they know only the strong and hungry survive. and here i am with my foot (finally) in the door -- how can i walk away? it won't happen now for me, but maybe eventually. but maybe not. is it worth the gamble?

i'm really not sure, and this quandary has been consuming me for a good month now. it might not be so bad if i could find steady temp stuff that i could just slip away from whenever dream job wanted me back, though that would leave me at their beck and call. i would basically be their bitch. that might be okay with me in the short term, but again, the unreliability of it all, the thinning savings account, the fact that the first student loan bill arrives in november. yet on the other hand, the fact that it's my dream job, a place i've always wanted to work, a best-case scenario that can't be beat, provided things work out in my favor (which they generally don't).

advice?