Stuff & Things

hello again, blogosphere! i have missed you so much, though i doubt you have noticed the absence of my whiny voice from the conversations i have here with myself about such riveting topics as my dogs, so different from every other dog.

it's not that i've been avoiding you or even been too busy because, let's face it, i waste A LOT of time, it's just that i've been uninspired and lazy. these have been pervasive emotions throughout my life, as much as i try to fight them, which is admittedly not too much, so i just roll with it and remain content taking that second nap and lazily whiling away the days. that is what summer is all about and i've been enjoying mine immensely this year, spending it in the following non-blogging ways:



FIRE IN THE SKY: my favorite day of the summer is July 4, because this is the day my beloved Los Angeles neighborhood of Highland Park decides to set itself on fire with a fireworks bonanza extravaganza that makes anyone who experiences it gawk in shock and awe. every year, i've thrown a fireworks-viewing party on my deck, and every year, it's had a great turnout, this past year being no exception. there are plenty of explosions, pretty colors in the sky, flavorful microbrews and good friends that more than make up for the disgusting air quality the next day.



WORLD CUP: speaking of the next day, the Costa Rican soccer team qualified for the quarter-finals on July 5, and the leftover food and brews from the previous day's fete came in very handy, especially when some of the same friends showed up to watch the game with Tico and me. that was a great day for many reasons, despite the fact that Costa Rica didn't progress much farther, but it was still nice to see my own Tico so damn happy. all in all, the games were a great addition to my summer as i made it a point to watch as many as possible. i assure you it had nothing to do with the soccer thighs.



INDY: this guy is the most unbelievably loving, unintentional funny and needlessly nervous dog i've ever known. it's been a hard road with Indy as his separation anxiety has translated into destructive behavior whenever he was left without a human home to reassure him that he is not being abandoned forever. despite our best attempts to dog-proof the house, Tico and i returned home to many messes. then someone recommended the Thundershirt and hot holy hell, that thing actually worked.

the minute we put it on him, he began getting very sleepy and even stayed stationery as we moved around the house, a stark contrast to the shadow he's always been. nowadays, we come home to no (or at least less) destruction and a much calm(er) dog. i can't recommend this thing enough. and no, the manufacturer is not paying me to say this, though i really wish they were because i would totally take the money.



SCHROTH THERAPY: though i may look mighty relaxed lying on a hot pack above (my favorite part of physical therapy), i assure you that the rest of the hour i spend in therapy is grueling. i've been going for several months now as part of the treatment to manage any current and future pain associated with the broken rod in my back. i'll detail it more in a future post, but it's been very very beneficial for me so far, despite also being very very difficult.

to sum it up, i am learning how to dramatically alter my posture by activating underworked muscles in my back while allowing the overworked ones to atrophy. it is a lengthy, oftentimes painful process that involves targeted exercises to support the new posture, exercises that i'm learning so i can practice them at home. to help me stay dedicated, i've set up a gym in my garage (and am actually using it). this is one of those maintenance-for-the-rest-of-my-life things akin to a change in diet, which i'm also striving for so i may lighten the load on my back. so far, it's working, except for the times when it's not, like pizza time.



HOUSEHOLD: Tico officially moved in with me this month, despite unofficially living with me for a year. to commemorate the occasion, we went to work on fixing up the detached garage to make it a usable space as it had long been just a place to store plenty of things i no longer needed. so we got to throwing them out, painting some walls, opening up other walls, building out the gym, adding a desk, bookcase, loungy area, shelves and a workspace for Tico. it now looks welcoming and usable and awesome (photos to come). i am thrilled with the results and feel accomplished like one of those DIY homeowners i sometimes see on reality shows. granted, he did most of the work but whatever. i steadied the ladder despite him telling me i didn't need to. and with the house on its way to becoming even more awesome, i am hoping that the rest of life follows suit. but first, there are more lazy days of summer to while away.

Lots of Stuff and Things

as i am an expert in pointing out the obvious, let me begin by saying that’s it has been far too long since the last update. as always, this is partially due to laziness, but also because the summer has been busier than i expected. it’s also been far more awesome than i expected. in short, life has been a combination of sunshine, rainbow sprinkles, toes in the sand, sleeping late and unicorn rides. it’s also been a lot of hard work, sleepless nights, sore muscles and binge eating. somehow, this has all balanced out into relative bliss. this is why:


me and my city

birthday: i turned 37 in june, which effectively threw me into the “late 30s” category of easy listening music and high-fiber diets. thankfully, this birthday didn’t hurt too badly as evidenced by my lack of constant complaining, which has accompanied most of my birthdays since i hit 30. this year, i enjoyed a small party at my house with close friends the friday before my little big day before escaping to Ojai later that weekend, where i slept late, watched bad cable, took a yoga class, visited Meditation Mount and went on daily hikes with my dogs.


blissed out on a rock at Meditation Mount

the day of my actual birthday (a wednesday) had me eating a lovely steak dinner with my parents before meeting friends at my local watering hole, the Verdugo Bar, where i really felt my age by drinking too much and exclaiming, “i can’t party like i used to” at the end of the night. at least i still made it into work the next morning, which i never would have bothered with at 21. all in all, a great birthday doing things i love (drinking and relaxing) while surrounded by people i love.

Comic-Con: for the second year in a row, i attended Comic-Con, an otherworldly and exhausting experience that was amazing in every way. i went again to work the booth for GEEK, the little magazine that could, which is turning into the little magazine that is kicking ass if our rising circulation, recent offering of print subscriptions and win of three Maggie Awards are any indication.


GEEK magazine booth at Comic-Con

the most awesome thing about this year’s Con was how different it was from last year’s Con, when we had only one issue printed and were practically throwing it at people to get noticed. six issues later, people sought out the booth to say how much they loved the magazine (and no doubt pick up some sweet swag). GEEK also presented several panels this year, including the Starship Smackdown panel that closes out the Con. plus, my GEEKy colleagues are genuinely some of my favorite people in the world. with them, i spent the four days of the Con laughing, drinking, chatting, downing power bars, slamming espresso shots, barely sleeping, attending events and enjoying myself immensely. i cannot wait to do it again next year.


this guy does parties. i have his card.

note: all my photos from Comic Con 2013 can be seen on my Flickr account here. for a smaller sampling featuring the best cosplay, check out my photo essay on Grizzlybomb.com, the site run by my fellow GEEK writer/editor and good friend Brian Kronner. 


my favorite photo from the Con

my first gay wedding: i had the pleasure of attending the civil ceremony of some of my other favorite people in the world, my bestie, Jon-David, and his partner of 10 years, Cesar, at San Francisco City Hall. this was only a ceremony to solidify their status, as the actual wedding will take place next year, but it was still a magical thing to witness.


me with the newlyweds

it should go without saying that i support marriage equality 150%, and to me it’s ludicrous for gay rights to even be up for debate. i’ve always been an advocate for secular living and regard all organized religions to be laughable fairy tales that have no basis in reality or legislation. so it was especially touching to see the judge who married my friends, an elderly african-american lady, pronounce them “loving life partners” after they both said “i do.” i stood nearby, beaming, teary-eyed and incredibly thankful that i’m alive in a decade (and country) where this is possible.  


after the ceremony, a few of us went north to Calistoga for mud baths and rest. of course, we also stopped off at Bouchon Bakery in Yountville for the tastiest macarons on earth.

refinance: after five years of wanting this and three months of enduring a hellish escrow that rivaled the hellish escrow that came with purchasing my house, i refinanced my 40-year mortgage with three liens and needlessly high interest rate into a much more manageable 30-year mortgage with two liens and more agreeable interest rate.


the sheet i made for the appraiser, who appraised my house for far less than its purchase price plus the money i poured into it.

this is a game-changer for me, one that has shaved a considerable amount off my mortgage, which means i can pay off my debts faster. i’m overjoyed that this finally worked out, even though it had to involve many angry phone calls, four rate relocks (two of which i had to pay for), insane closing costs to rid myself of that third lien and the general grumpiness that comes with an escrow that feels never-ending. thankfully, it ended, turning me into a happy homeowner once more. 


family members toasting on my newly refinanced deck

half-marathon: i have officially become one of THOSE people by signing up for my first half marathon. don’t worry, i won’t be bothering anyone for money as this isn’t a fundraiser type of thing, only a vanity one. my cousin Gitella and i will complete it together this fall in Las Vegas. since signing up, i’ve surprised myself by actually training for the 13.1-mile trek, which must be completed in under four hours. this means i’ve spent plenty of time walking the three-mile track at the Rose Bowl. what’s more surprising is that the walks turned into runs (ok, an occasional light jog, but still).


en route to train with the furries

crazier yet is that i find myself actually looking forward to hitting the track lately, so i can scurry around it like an injured animal, as i mouth expletives and try to push through the pain in my shins, all for that elusive runners’ high i only read about in books. i know now that it’s very real and very cool. also cool is that i’ve been able to stuff my face full of carb-heavy food while still losing weight. i’m hoping i keep this up.

boyfriend: there should probably be much more fanfare around this announcement, but it will have to be relegated to just a bullet point. but yes, there is a boything now. no, i did not meet him on okstupid. i actually met him three years ago and dated him briefly then; he was even mentioned here a few times as the Costa Rican Cutie. but things didn’t work out, so we parted ways kindly and calmly, remaining friendly, until earlier this year when that friendship started to slide down the rabbit hole and fall into what it is now. and what it is now is pretty damn good.

i don’t want to say much more about it because 1) he isn’t thrilled with being written about on this blog; 2) if you know me in real life, or even just on Facebook, then you know about this already so it’s not big news; and 3) although i’m happy to make fun of strangers and online dating here (note: okstupid account has since been disabled), the people i keep closest to my heart i try to honor by keeping my big mouth shut about them. there’s really not much more to say beyond things are good, he is awesome and i am happy — and taking it day by day.


see? happy while frolicking on a beach. 

Stuff and Things

not that anyone has been clamoring for my return to the blogosphere, but i’m going to apologize anyway for my absence. it’s been a busy few months for me. curing cancer is hard work. not that this is why i’ve been away. just saying that curing cancer is hard work. applause to all those who try. as for me, my time has been spent on the following, less glamorous, more tedious things:

• work: i’ve been silly slammed with the stuff, because i can never seem to say no to a paycheck. this has done wonders for my debt reduction, but has had poor implications for my social, leisure and fitness life as all i ever seem to do lately is sit on my ass and rot in front of my computer. GEEK magazine, for which i serve as copy editor, has been the biggest time-suck, so it’s a good thing i love the work and client. (related: GEEK has finally started offering subscriptions to the print magazine. get it, get it!)
  
  

i also had to complete a quarterly project for Cedars-Sinai that has me alphabetizing its donor list, a painstaking task that involves 200+ pages of names and funds that i organize into a hierarchy that only makes sense to me and them. then there’s the edit (total rewrite) of a self-help book written by a personal trainer, which is thankfully in its final stages and should be finished in the next week.
  
  

once that’s done and the next issue of GEEK ships, i hope to have a few days off to recover before i have to focus my weary eyes on the Haiku Wednesdays book, an essay i’ve been working on, and my abandoned to-do list that’s full of enviable tasks like cleaning out the garage and painting the bathroom. oh yeah, and blogging. i’ll be doing more of that, too.


 

• house: the blue tarp i had over my roof since december started to look a little unseemly so i called up my contractor and had him replace the entire roof. the leak had been in the front bedroom, where a water bubble the size of a softball would appear in the drywall after a heavy rain. with the roof done (looks sexy, right?), every part of the main house has seen an upgrade, save the bathroom, which is why i plan to paint it.     


  
  late march also saw the five-year anniversary of my being a homeowner. to commemorate the occasion, i called up my local credit union and began the fun-filled process of refinancing my mortgage. that’s been another time-suck with its maze of bank statements, good faith estimates, missing paperwork and frequent phone calls. i’m happy to report that the appraisal went well enough to ensure that the refi would be possible, but fell way short of reflecting all the money i’ve spent on the house. of course, i have no plans to move anytime soon and, if anything, am looking forward to reducing my mortgage so i can take that extra money and pour it into the next project — either the landscaping or garage conversion. 


 

• okstupid: there’s a lengthier post coming about this, which details the handful of dates i’ve been on since joining okcupid in january, but let me get to the punchline now: i am still single. there has been no knight in shining armor sweeping me off my feet and onto his horse so we may gallop into the sunset together. there have been a couple court jesters, though. but mostly it’s been as dull and ridiculous as i thought it would be.
  
  the dates are infrequent and my attitude is still as shitty as it was when i wrote this post about joining the dating site. at this point, i’m not sure how much longer this little experiment will last. what i do know is that i have no plans to kick it into high gear and become some super dating machine, as friends have suggested. i’d much rather spend that energy being my natural social self and hopefully meeting men the organic way. 
here’s to hoping. that’s all i really have.

Stuff and Things

the illustration accompanying my Modern Love essay in the New York Times by Brian Rea

minute 16: considering that i haven’t received any “fan” mail in about two weeks and that the high i felt right after the publication of my essay has been replaced by my usual crankiness, i think it’s safe to say my 15 minutes of fame are over. i had a hell of a ride, savored every surreal moment and will forever regard this as one of the greatest accomplishments of my life. just thinking about it now brings an easy smile to my face. it’s done much in restoring my confidence as a writer, and i’ve begun whispering “new york times, dumbass” to myself every time i feel a writer’s blockage forming. i haven’t had a chance to write much lately, but do have a working draft of what i hope will become my next published essay. it’s about porn, which means you won’t see it in the New York Times. i’m thinking Wall Street Journal instead. just kidding! it will probably fit at... ummm... i gotta think that through some more.

second issue of GEEK magazine on newsstands August 14

work: as always, there’s a ton of it keeping me busy and out of trouble. GEEK magazine is the biggest perp, so it’s good thing it’s also my favorite client. the editor and i have worked together for 10 years on five other publications so we’ve formed a strong working relationship in addition to a strong personal relationship (not that kind, perverts; he’s a taken man). i hope to be doing some writing for GEEK in the future in addition to the copy editing i do for it now. also, several of my photos from my first trip to Comic Con, which i still need to chronicle here, have made their way into the third issue, which comes out this fall, marking the first (and probably last) time any of my photos will appear in a national print publication. did i mention that the editor and i are close friends?

all dogs on deck

house: drumroll, please. still waiting. is your drum broken? fine, i’ll proceed without it. MY DECK HAS BEEN BUILT. and not just built, but painted and signed off on by an inspector from the City of Los Angeles (photos to come). it all happened so fast except that it didn’t. phase 1 of the remodel began on august 1, 2011, and stretched well past the year point. but now, with just a few weeks of finish work remaining, i’m sad that it’s about to end and find myself searching for more things for the crew to do just so they’ll stick around. of course, there is more to do, including converting my detached garage (that i never park my car in) into a guest house, but that’s a project for next year. in the shorter-term, the focus is on landscaping, so send me your referrals for great gardeners and landscape architects so they can get started immediately, as i seem to feel unsettled if my house isn’t under constant construction. plus, i really like bossing people around.

my feet and a sunset

free time: not only have i heard of this mysterious concept, i’ve indulged in plenty of it lately. it has taken the form of fancy but cheap meals with friends (thank you, dineLA), hangouts in the park with friends, live shows for bands such as Die Antwoord and Duran Duran, backyard barbecues with friends, and a day trip to San Diego that saw me purchasing a deck table and bench set from a carpenter who works with reclaimed wood, and making a stop at Stone Brewery in Escondido to fill up growlers with great beer. all in all, a great fucking summer.

next up for me is a great fucking fall. i have a few things cooking right now that will make it so. a hint is below. keep tuned.

Stuff and Things

work: this is the biggest stuff and greatest thing in my life right now, and is also a major time suck and boner killer. it’s no exaggeration to say i have been working an average of 60 hours a week for many weeks now. it’s also no exaggeration to say that i’m really tired of it. hope is on the way as i’m about to hit a major deadline with a magazine i’ve been working on, which will give me a little breather until the next production cycle of another magazine i’m working on starts. the breather may equal a whooping three weeks, a time i’ll spend catching up on my own projects, in addition to sleeping, reading and tv watching. of course, these plans might be foiled if i sign up for a book project (unfortunately, not my book), but i’ll know more about that after my meeting with the author in a few weeks. so apologies for lack of blogging lately, but it’s not like i’m lying poolside at a cabana somewhere.

view from the downtown LA highrise in which i work 

mini-getaways: i’ve had two in the past month, one to Palm Springs for my friend’s bachelorette party, the other to Ojai, courtesy of a Groupon Getaway. i guess that means i have been lying poolside at a cabana, though there’s usually a pile of work beside me, so i haven’t been having too much fun. expect i had plenty of fun, particularly in palm springs, where i wined, whined and dined with three of my closest girlfriends. it was divine! the Ojai getaway was more functional as i did go there to work, while also hiking with my dogs, meeting a friend for lunch in Santa Barbara and paying a visit to Meditation Mount. i have another mini-getaway already planned and have now become someone who regularly mines groupon for deals on pet-friendly hotels within driving distance of los angeles like the spinster shrew i’m destined to become.

 view from a Meditation Mount lookout in Ojai, California

house: no, the deck still hasn’t been built yet, but the good news is that permits were secured just this week, so construction is imminent. my contractor is currently ordering materials, while i am currently bracing myself for another round of construction that is sure to include chronically nervous dogs, an always disheveled house, an orchestra of power tools on saturday mornings, mounting expenses, unhappy surprises and persnickety city inspectors. but by the end of it, i’ll finally have that goddamn fucking new deck damnit. as usual, i’ll be blogging about the whole thing, and if you are my facebook friend, you will see daily photos of construction in progress.

rendering of my future deck in plans submitted to the city

everything else: i can’t believe the year is half over. to offset the copious amounts of time spent sitting on my ass working, i have been hiking regularly and going to yoga. i went to a Dodger game with my dad the other week and an LA Kings playoff game with some friends; both times, the LA teams won. my resolution to stop eating meat this year is holding up, though i confess to having eaten one steak this year, which was delicious but hard to digest. there is no man or any other salicious drama in my life currently, you voyeuristic pervert, and i’m very ok with that. i’ve been working on a magazine called Geek Monthly, which hits newsstands next month and dissects all things geeky; you should totally buy it and/or subscribe. and i’ll be 36 next month.   

My New iPhone

i know i’m late to the barbecue with this as the iPhone has been around since 2007, but i only recently joined the ranks of smartphone users. i was overdue for an upgrade of my ancient fliptop and when the guy at Radio Shack told me i could get a coveted iPhone 4S for a third of the price, my jewish pragmatism kicked in and i went for it.

i had been resisting this since forever as i spend enough time in front of my computer and feared the iPhone would become an extra appendage as indispensable to me as my laptop. and guess what? it totally has. i fall asleep with it charging about two feet away from my head. contrast this with my old phone, which i would often forget at home, leave in my purse and charge in the other room.

but this little piece of silicon and plastic with its easy interface, endless apps and very useful Siri made me its slave overnight. the one time i thought i lost it, my heart started pounding in a panic — not only with the fear that it was gone, but also with the dread that i would have to go to the apple store immediately to buy a new one at retail price. the thought of returning to a cheaper phone didn’t even occur to me.

i love this phone and the whys of this are well documented elsewhere and already understood by the zillion iPhone owners who came before me so i won’t bother going into how awesome it is. but it is pretty awesome and i think Siri is the hot shit. also hot and incredibly addictive is the scrabble/words with friends app that has kept me up late at night and distracted during the day in competitive word wars. (find me through facebook or username “millamoon” if you want to battle.)

but, of course, the joy of the iPhone is found in its many splendid photo apps, which make rubes like me who know nothing about photography look like ansel adams. i have been a photo-taking machine since getting this thing and very much appreciate how it’s allowed me to document my comings and goings. this blog, like my facebook page, is really a diary for me to reflect on and the addition of visual souvenirs is very welcome. not surprisingly, my dogs have become a frequent photo subject.







random people on LA’s metro also make for an interesting capture. sunsets, too.



i’ll stop here but expect a barrage of iPhone photos to start peppering this blog. that’s if i can pull myself away from it long enough to write a blog post, which has proven difficult in the past few weeks. dishes have also begun to pile up. but i imagine this iPhone overuse is just a temporary spike as i learn how to become a functional addict. at least i hope it is.

now back to words with friends...

Stuff and Things

the past few weeks have been stressful and a half for a multitude of reasons that i won’t get into right now. of course the house is the biggest stressor and no, it’s not done yet. quit asking me. i also thought it would be done by now given that construction has lasted well over 100 days, but no cigar or finished house. currently the deck is holding things up with its design, which has become tricky for other reasons that i won’t get into right now.

so yes, i’m grumpy and i don’t want to talk about. go me! in other news, life has been keeping me busy with many other things, some of them equally grumpy-making and others delightfully stress-relieving. the good stuff includes:

i bought a bike: more importantly, i’ve actually been using it. this was inspired by my many friends who attended LA’s CicLAvia this year. so i went to Walmart (don’t judge me, i’m broke) and bought the cutest cruiser in the world. then came the interesting part: riding it. it’s no exaggeration to say i hadn’t been on a bike in 25 years, but apparently riding a bike is just like they say it is. after a few shaky starts, i was off. several weeks later, i own a bike rack and ride (semi) regularly at the rose bowl and along the LA river.


7-speed schwinn beach point cruiser

i went on a trip: half business and half pleasure, starting in washington, DC, for a work conference and ending in baltimore, maryland, with my dad’s side of the family for a weekend of overeating and drinking vodka. the best part of the trip was the snow, which came early this year and landed on top of some stunning fall foliage. that doubled my pleasure and fun, though i admit to getting restless at the end of the trip to get home and see what i missed with the house.


confetti with frosting

i went to a concert: my obsession with Childish Gambino (aka Donald Glover) cannot seem to be satiated. i saw him live for the second time this year and have been playing his new album on endless loop since it came out. i think i may need rehab.


my Childish Gambino hoodie

i got a new roommate: this new roommate looks a lot like an old roommate i once had. in fact, they are the same person: my buddy Dan whom i lived with briefly in San Francisco. so far it’s proved to be a perfect pairing, as Dan moved in at the start of november, gave me a check, spent two nights in his new room, and then left for a 6-week work project in San Francisco. no complaints here, and there won’t be when he returns either because he’s a super cool guy and we get along famously.

beyond that, i really hope the rest of the year brings me stress-free days and plentiful sleep. and maybe a big bottle of vodka.

Stuff and Things

hello and goodbye, july! thanks for flying by with a wave, a wink and a smack on the ass. you’ve been quite hectic, alternating between crazy busy and wholly uneventful — with nap-filled, lazy days followed by full-agenda days that last well into the night. not that i have any complaints. in fact, you’ve been pretty good to me. great even. though i sense that’s about to change when august flies in and starts dropping its stress bombs. but before that happens, let’s do a quick rundown of july’s softballs.

• operation: home remodel: certainly, this is the stress bomb i speak of. its start date has been pushed back so many times that i sometimes wonder if it will ever start. there have been various delays for various reasons, but it’s definitely still going to happen (possibly next week). and when it does happen, it will effectively end my summer, keeping me housebound, penniless and in a world of construction dust. that’s probably for the best as i’ve been meaning to stream some movies, read some books and, umm, catch up on blogging.

• operation: socialize: this one i am all caught up on as i have been attending nearly every party, art show, dinner, concert and envelope opening that i have been invited to, usually with the costa rican cutie on my arm. i even went dancing (two nights in a row!) last weekend and spent a whole day communing with The Nature in the santa monica mountains. this is in addition to the group hikes that take place every tuesday (ping me if you want details) and did i mention that writing class i just completed?

• operation: be a writer: allow me a little Product Placement here as i plug the wonderful, glorious and often delicious (given that they serve food) Writing Pad, which offers fabulous writing classes and events populated by unpretentious people (so rare in LA). i just finished a four-week personal essay class, where i workshopped what’s basically an extended blog post that i’m hoping to publish anywhere but this blog. as i’ve already received one rejection, outlook not so good, so i’m sure it will be here soon enough.

• operation: haiku wednesdays: if you’re not my friend on facebook, you totally should be (i’m also on Google+), so you can be a part of something that’s cooler than ice! known as Haiku Wednesdays, it’s basically exactly what it sounds like: a bunch of facebookers write haikus every wednesday that are posted on a group page. it’s something i started after randomly writing a status update as a haiku, and now it’s a global phenomenon that’s 65-people strong. yeah!

• operation: rest of summer: i’m going to get a bike (and actually use it). i’m going to write more, here and elsewhere. i’m going to plan an overseas trip that i hope to take next year. i’m going to attend lots of free events and cook at home most of the time. i’m going to exercise more. and now that i’ve immortalized these goals by telling them to the internets, i’m going to nap.

Stuff and Things

i wish i could claim that i’ve been busy curing cancer or making plans to attend a royal wedding, but that’s not why i’ve been such a slacker about blogging lately. the truth is that i’ve been taking secret meetings with the illuminati, who have been reviewing my manifesto on how to bring about world peace (they rejected it). i’ve also been occupied with several other Very Important Things, some of which are outlined below:

• fitness: wow, did i just write that? more to the point, did i really just attend that kickboxing class? and did i also just start a weekly hiking group? i guess i did, which must mean that i really need to lose some weight and, i suppose, that i’m (finally) starting to take better care of my health. though it turns me into a horribly sweaty mess — and i generally hate sweating — the exercise has also helped me sleep better at night and feel better during the day. i think i’ll stick with it.

• the high life: i know i should probably be demure and somewhat embarrassed by the confession that i’ve been privy to some sweet corporate schwag recently, but the truth is that i loved every second of it. the truth is that i had an awesome time watching a dodger game from box seats off of third base and near the dodger dugout (hello, Matt Kemp!), courtesy of my boss’ boss. i also had an awesome time at the company-sponsored trip to the clubhouse at santa anita race track, where i sat comfortably after binging on a free buffet, drink in hand, and watched horse races. unfortunately, all of the horses i bet on lost. i’ve requested that they be sent to the glue factory immediately.

• speaking of meat: the meatlessness has ceased. i went about six weeks of living on a purely pescatarian diet, save a bite or two of friends’ meaty meals, before i caved and had a steak. it was the best steak of my life. i was literally drooling before i ate it and then could not shovel it into my mouth fast enough. since then i’ve been eating bacon, sausage and more steak like it’s going out of style. i know it’s murder, but it tastes too good to be that wrong. i think i’ll stick with it, too.

• the lake show: the highlight of this week is seeing my beloved los angeles lakers play their last game of the season, against the san antonio spurs, at staples center. i’m taking my superstar pops to the game for his birthday, just like i did for his 60th birthday a few years back. i’m extremely excited about this as 1) we have killer seats; 2) we’re having a banging dinner beforehand at a fancy restaurant downtown; and 3) i love my pops! (i love my moms, too!) i expect nothing less than an absolutely awesome time.

1 Down, 11 to Go

when i haven’t been freakishly blissful and appreciating the moment, i have been thinking a lot about The Future. most of my thoughts about This Future are centered on goals i’d like to achieve and poorly formed plans about how to best achieve them.

sometimes the goals are as nebulous and far-fetched as the plans, with many trains of thought leading into a daydream about winning the lottery. other times, they come in a clear and vibrant vision, something akin to a lucid dream where i can push aside obstacles and shatter world records with the flick of a wrist. then, just as johnny depp is about to leave his supermodel wife for me, i wake up.

the most challenging thing about being lost in the fantasyland that is my head is making the leap from thought to action. so far, that hasn’t been going very well. i’ve told myself that this was because january was my "ramp-up month" when i could putz around without purpose, playing with ideas. but now that february has arrived, signifying a year already in full swing, the party in my head has to be broken up by the cops, none of whom resemble johnny depp unfortunately.

to help jump-start (find?) my motivation for Getting Things Done, i’ve decided to resurrect Meatless February, an annual event i initiated last year to great success. a lovely side effect of that meatless month was an increase in energy, clarity and focus — all of which i could benefit from right about now.

i also intend to take a few classes this year, maybe even join a few clubs. sadly, all the pounds of flesh i’ve been consuming in preparation for the meatless month have fogged up my brain so much that i can’t remember what classes or clubs i’m referring to, but i know that there are some on the horizon.

my other big plans all involve the house, which always involves money, some of which i hope to amass during the upcoming bonus season at work and tax season at home. but before those checks clear, i need to lay some foundation in the form of pulling permits from the city, meaning my meditation practice will soon go into overdrive. serenity now, bitches.

beyond that, i’m really looking forward to the summer, probably for the first time in my adult life. i’m stunned by this as i generally love LA’s mild winters, but i find myself itching for more daylight, which i hope to use for accomplishing the many things that have been swirling in my head.

i need to hustle because the year will pash in a flash and, before i know it, next winter will set in and bathe the year in moonlight, making me feel as though i did nothing with my time at all.

Stuff and Things

howdy, 2011 — welcome to the world! nine days in, you’re already kicking ass and taking names. let’s hope your happy momentum stays and builds to a brilliant crescendo that lasts through the entire year. so far, everything you have touched has been infused with good vibrations, and not just for this month but for the past few weeks, a time in which a few notable things happened:

• holidaze: this last season was particularly lovely, as i managed to squeeze in the watching of several movies, the seeing of several friends and the laziness of several days spent lounging without purpose. i’m sure there’s a more eloquent way to put this, but in short: i had a lot of fun.

• work: perhaps weirdly, among all this fun and laziness was quite a bit of work. in the last week of the year, i scored two freelance assignments with new clients, and in the first week of the year, two more came. if this is any indication of how the rest of the year will fare, work-wise, i see some fruitful months in my future — and hopefully some home improvements.

• home: the big news here is that i am living alone again, as Wendy moved into her own apartment at the start of this month. she had long intended to bring her dog to LA from Texas, and i didn’t think my two bitches would be receptive to a third bitch in the house — fifth bitch if you count Wendy and i — so, alas, our six-month domestic partnership had to come to an end (though the friendship will live on in perpetuity). currently, i have no plans to get another roommate but we’ll see how the year goes.

• writing: clearly, i’ve been bad with this but i have not forgotten my resolution to get better about writing here and elsewhere, so please hold me to it, internet. to this end, i’ve begun planning my inaugural writing holiday, which will be spent in the florida keys at my sister’s vacation home this spring. there, i will write many words that will form many sentences that will make the whole world sing.

• om shanti: in keeping with my other new year’s resolution to “meditate and shit,” i’m happy to report that i’ve hit up the meditation center by my house a whopping TWO times since the year began. both times it’s been to attend the free public sitting sessions where folks can walk in and sit silently with others who are meditating, which has made the process of clearing my mind much easier to do — as i can ride the tailcoats of people who’ve already done it. (leave it to me to find a shortcut to enlightenment.)

beyond that, i’m generally in love with 2011. and now that i’ve immortalized this on the interwebs, the once benevolent gods will surely turn cruel and make my life shitty.

Stuff and Things

i don’t know why the passage of time still manages to surprise me with the way it just marches ahead and disregards everything else around it. but here i am again, bemoaning the changing of the seasons, lamenting over the lost summer and marveling at the fact that november is around the corner, dragging a gaggle of holidays behind it.

and then comes the new year, which will certainly pass in a flash, leaving me all agog again at how fleeting its appearance was. it’s become a ritual at this time of year when i look around and take inventory and feel largely displeased. without fail, i’m always disappointed in myself that i haven’t done MORE — what MORE means i’m never really sure. maybe i could have done more “to get ahead,” even though i don’t really know what getting ahead means either.

i certainly know i could have updated this blog more, especially in october, which was a whirlwind of activity for me. both september and october, in fact, were a little nutty with their boundless productivity, freelance work, travel and socializing. i guess they make up for my lackluster summer, which never really seemed to get off the ground.

it was unseasonably cold all summer, so cold that i never once fired up the grill, and instead spent my time ambling through the mundane in solitary confinement. i saw little incentive in breaking out of that routine, where life was calm and predictable. there were storms, yes, but they raged only inside. it was not the summer i expected when i sashayed through my birthday party in a red dress, but i see it now as the summer i needed to ground and center me.

these past two months changed all that by turning life into an endless stream of comings and goings. beyond the east coast train trip in september (which i intend to finish chronicling), i made a trip to the pacific northwest in october, first flying into Portland to visit with family and then driving up to Seattle with friends to witness the nuptials of one of my favorite couples, Nick + Zee.

it was a lovely long weekend, a four-day vacation spent socializing, eating and laughing. i played with my cousin’s kids, squeezed in afternoon bubble bath and enjoyed an incredible dinner at one of Portland’s swankiest restaurants, where i sampled bison tartar. then came one raucous night in Seattle, which started with the wedding and ended in a downtown pub crawl and search for an elusive after-party that was never found, so a hot dog cart had to make due. there i learned a very important lesson: hot dogs with cream cheese and sauteed onions are delicious.

the most amazing thing about the weekend? not a drop of rain fell on the usually rainy pacific northwest during my visit. the day i returned to LA, however, a week-long rain storm kicked into gear on my drive home from the burbank airport. a week later, i would have strep throat and have to go on a 10-day cycle of antibiotics, which i’m still finishing up.

no complaints, though. i had an awesome time, a time i am trying to remind myself of as i sit and stare into the eyes of november with thoughts about how i haven’t done enough this year “to get ahead.” truth is i have done plenty this year — from Landmark to leaving a relationship that was no longer working for me to writing articles for publication to reawakening my spiritual self with the help of chakra clearings and meditation to visiting old friends on the east coast and in the northwest to getting a roommate and making new friends to landing new freelance clients.

a lot has happened, some of it bad but most of it very good. it should be enough to make me feel like i’m “getting ahead”; it should be enough to quell the restlessness that has plagued me my entire life.

but it never is.

Stuff and Things

when i haven’t been busy writing up my experience at the Landmark Forum (final installment forthcoming), i have been busy with other stuff, none of it particularly “transformative.” there are other writings going on, some of which will be published here soon enough, and there are life-in-flux changes going on, also soon-to-be published.

in general, life has been alright in that could-be-better, could-be-worse sort of way. freelance work has slowed considerably in the past few months right as my social life has picked up. it seems as though everyone is busy having a birthday party or a drinks thing, or maybe a gallery opening or a Mother’s Day meal or a visit into town for the weekend. i have accepted almost every invitation extended to me and plan to continue doing so. i see a social summer in my future.

in other news, my dreams of an exterior home remodel have been put on hold (again), this time indefinitely — or at least until the lousy housing market turns a corner and gives me some equity i can pull out, only to put back in. until then i’m looking at completing a few smaller projects to achieve my much-needed sense of domestic accomplishment. so perhaps the bedrooms will finally get their closet doors and maybe my ass will get a new couch to sit on.

also ahead are tentative travel plans — a trip to the east coast in the fall to visit friends and family — and a weekend jaunt to San Francisco. if i’m lucky, i can squeeze a long weekend to Portland somewhere in there and also another trip with my girlfriends to the day spa in Ojai. (that last one is already scheduled.)

otherwise, i can’t believe it’s the middle of May already and that half the year has slipped away from me. as in years past, i always think i should have more to show at this point, that i should have been a productive powerhouse these past six months but instead have been wasting too much time and not saving nearly enough money. i’m not even sure where i think i should be exactly, but it never feels like where i actually am.

i need to work on that. i need to work on a lot of things. or maybe i don’t need to do any work. maybe i should just sit still for a change and try to appreciate the moment.

Stuff and Things

• meaty march: after four weeks of eating nothing but fresh veggies and fish — and feeling fantastic physically — i undid any benefit it gave my body in the first three days of march by consuming an obscene meat cornucopia that included bacon burgers and tacos filled with carne asada, carnitas, al pastor and birria. i felt guilty about exactly NONE of it, even when the stomach pains rendered me blob-like on the sofa. but instead of gripping my stomach and moaning, “what have i done?” i was overwhelmed with a powerful peace of mind that, no, i can never be a vegetarian, and that’s ok.



• the house: tax time is always my favorite time to be a homeowner and this year was no exception. i have plenty of domestic things to spend my refund on, among them a major remodel to the house’s exterior that i’m still ironing out with my contractor. it will be a big job, lasting several weeks and costing a fortune. i’m scared shitless, but excited beyond measure as well. and after it’s done, i’ll be another step closer to living in my dream house, which, granted, is probably a house i will buy 10 or 20 years from now, but with each passing month, i get closer.



• Landmark Forum: has anyone (besides Juan) done this shit? the Landmark Forum is this weekend-long self-improvement seminar that will either leave me brainwashed with the belief that i can talk to aliens, transformed into the best possible version of myself or totally unmoved and still ridiculously cynical. i signed up for it upon the urging of my friend Juan and have wasted many hours reading about it online, where reports vacillate between describing it as a cult and as the best thing that can happen to anyone. clearly, i am intrigued and must investigate for myself if for no other reason than to bring my cherished readers a good blog post. expect it sometime in april.



• more importantly: as everyone knows, tax refund means spa weekend (in addition to home repairs). for two nights and three days, my girlfriends and i will get rubbed and scrubbed at a day spa in beautiful Ojai, California. okay, Ojai is not that beautiful, but i better be after my facial, hour-long massage and seaweed body wrap. there will also be fine dining (and likely overeating) and maybe a yoga class if i’m feeling really ambitious. but mostly, there will be rest and relaxation and enjoying the company of two of my best friends during a weekend of shameless bourgeoisie pampering. i can’t wait!

Slow News Month

not a lot happening around these parts lately. august has been relatively relaxing, mostly spent with good friends and family, squeezing every last drop out of the summer with nightly cookouts and cocktails. work has been manageable, sleep has been fulfilling and highs have been in the 70s. i’ve been loving on the lax, perhaps a little too much as evidenced by my lack of updates.

the biggest non-event for me lately has probably been this inexplicable, unwelcome uptick in back pain. i wish i could attribute it to something sexy, like trying out a new position with Mo, but the truth is we haven’t swung from the chandeliers since that one time that resulted in a trip to the ER. plus, we’ve never had chandeliers to swing from. they are so tacky. i prefer disco balls.

truth is i don’t know what the truth is, but my back has been aching like an old person who has an achy back. luckily, my doctor rescued me from having to spend days being unproductive in bed while attached to a heating pad by prescribing some super-powered vicodin, which did much to take the edge off and lighten my mood.

within 10 minutes of taking one of those magic little pills, i became one with the rainbows of life, suddenly teleported into a meadow where unicorns drank from a stream made of chocolate. i think willy wonka might have been there, too. he was talking about giving me his chocolate factory!

he said, “you know what happened to the little girl who got everything she wanted, milla?” i replied, “she was on vicodin?” i think he said “yes” or maybe something about “living happily ever after,” but the phone rang and disturbed my reverie, or maybe i just dreamt it did.

wait, where was i going with this again? i think i may still be feeling some residual side effects of that magic little pill, which include nonsensical euphoria. they also include liver damage and frozen bowels. fun ride, this vicodin train. thankfully, my back has been feeling much better this week, which has allowed me to stop worrying that i may need another back surgery, at least for the short term.

fear of needing another back surgery is a constant in my life. i could wake up with a toothache and, by noon, spin it into a diagnosis of Damaged Vertebrae Requiring Surgery. i’m a jewish hypochondriac like that. because of all this, i’m thinking that it’s time to find a chiropractor to visit regularly for a little back cracking. it’s either that or limiting the chandelier swinging.

in other news, i’m going on vacation soon. this is exciting for many obvious reasons, the greatest of which is NOT HAVING TO WORK while on vacation. my only hope is that i don’t return from break suicidal and forlorn like i usually do.

the plan is for Mo and i to leave around Labor Day and take a leisurely drive up the California coast and into Oregon, stopping in various cities along the way. our ultimate destination is Portland, a city i have not visited in over 10 years, to attend my baby cousin’s wedding (he’s 25).

i’m sure there will be much eating on this vacation, in addition to sleeping, sightseeing, socializing, picture-taking and even some chandelier-swinging. the only problem with this vacation is that it has not already begun. i’m all ants in the pants about it, checking the days off the calendar like a prisoner awaiting a parole hearing. only a few more weeks until i’m free to run through the meadow with the unicorns and drink from the chocolate stream.

Stuff and Things

• the results are in: layoff week at work came and went and left me still employed. sadly i can’t say the same for 820 coworkers who got the boot. i feel bad for them but happy for myself. i did not want to be in the jobless boat. not in this economy and especially not after seeing my parents and countless friends suddenly become jobless, panicked and struggling. i know strife builds character and all, but i’m ok with being vapid if it means i get to eat.


• speaking of eating: Mo and i have been superchef bandits lately, making feasts for ourselves and our friends that have included such gastronomical masterpieces as Mo’s magic gumbo, my world-famous gazpacho, homemade rosemary bread, ravioli from scratch, endless grilled meats and, of course, many mixed drinks. our goal is to make restaurant-quality food that dissuades us from spending money on eating at restaurants. so far it’s been working. we are fat and happy.


• Lake Wobegone: Mo and i recently attended a taping of Garrison Keillor’s Prairie Home Companion at the Greek Theater in Los Feliz. the show was quite fantastic and featured great guest appearances by the likes of sheryl crow, martin sheen and the super butch kd lang, who looks and sounds more and more like roy orbison every time i see her. we must have been the youngest people in the crowd, save for the two teenagers who sat behind us, likely dragged to the show by their parents who, along with us, had to endure constant mutterings of “this isn’t even funny!” that’s when i realized how expansive the generational gap really was — to these kids i was part of the unfunny “them” that included their parents. i was part of the geriatric crowd that found MTV too racy. i shuddered at the thought, but only for a moment, before wrapping my shawl tighter around me and resuming my toe-tapping.


• and the livin’s easy: i have been finding myself uncharacteristically excited for summer. the hot weather i still dread — along with the ants that are already marching through the kitchen — but i’m oddly achy for the socializing that comes with the season, and i’m really hoping that fireball in the sky helps energize me into finally cleaning out the garage. i’m also excited by the fireworks i see popping nightly now in my neighborhood, which will culminate in the killer fourth of july show that is just weeks away. then there are the perfect, warm nights that allow me to eat dinner on the deck again, and even the 100-degree days when i can wash the dogs with the garden hose before turning it on myself.

Smiling With My Eyes

my computer’s been acting moody lately so i’ve been rummaging through old files in search of things to delete when i stumbled upon my absolute favorite picture of myself. i know how vain that might sound, but look at the picture. it’s not exactly the softly lit Sears glamour shot where my hair is teased and i’m wearing hooker makeup. (i have one of those, too, but you’ll never see it up here!)

the photo was taken almost six years ago when i first began writing this thing, and was featured in an entry published on June 11, 2003. i was in europe on a work-abroad school program at that time, acting incredibly jet set, while completing a summer internship at Voice of America. those were the glorious, pre-leaky fridge days, the grad student at USC days when i wrote class papers that were published in the LA Times.

those were the days of taut skin and lofty ideals when i drank wine from a box and spent countless afternoons at Souplantation, eating and studying for hours. i know i romanticize those days as being some tender age of innocence with limitless possibilities when the fact is i was just as cranky then as i am today. still, a girl is entitled to her delusions, especially when she’s parading around europe in a ridiculous wig.

if i recall the story behind the photo correctly, i was in Brussels that weekend on a class trip, visiting NATO and EU headquarters like a serious journalist. in the evening, my classmates and i went out to have a few drinks and discuss nuclear disarmament with the locals when we happened upon a bachelor party in full swing at the bar. the guys were british (of course!), also in town for just the weekend and dressed inexplicably like austin powers, hence the wig, glasses and teeth.

i remember putting all three on and then refusing to part with them for the rest of the night, despite the guys’ repeated requests to “give them back already, will you, crazy lady?” fuck them, i was having fun and charming everyone around me with my austin powers impersonation. YEAH, BABY!

the girl behind me in the photo is now the world-famous journalist Melissa Gonzalo, anchor/reporter for an NBC news affiliate in Phoenix, though back then she was just my classmate Gonzo. we had fun that summer, back in those salad days when having fun was the thing that mattered most.

Stuff and Things

• the hell on earth that has defined 2009 is continuing well into March. my latest gripe with this year involves a household surprise in the form of a leaky fridge that ruined my kitchen floor and spawned all sorts of fun mold. this has necessitated the tearing out of half the kitchen, in order to replace it, as well as several utterances of “crap covered shit fucking hell,” “fucking ass damn shit hole” and “kill me now.”
  
  this is an ongoing kitchen nightmare for me that will be documented, with photos, in a future blog post once my brain learns to process the event with real sentences that contain more than just a string of expletives. in short, it’s been a fucking nightmare and i’ve declared 2009 Year of the Suck.


• in another sign that the apocalypse is nigh, i saw Tom Cruise during lunch the other week. i don’t have a photo of this encounter so feel free to call me a liar, but i’m positive it was him walking around downtown LA. he was sans wife and child, accompanied instead by a few filmmaker-looking dudes, chewing gum and wearing the type of obnoxious sunglasses that only celebrities wear.
  
  i saw him with two coworkers while enjoying a lovely lunch outdoors at Cafe Pinot. he was hanging around the garden area near the Central Library, while we sat transfixed just 20 feet away, gawking at The Crazy like he was some exotic zoo animal while making snarky comments about his height. none of us approached him, and i resisted the urge to yell “Free Katie” despite thinking i would if i ever saw Tom Cruise. then i returned to the office with my coworkers, where we told everyone within earshot that we saw Tom Cruise at lunch. our coworkers were rightfully impressed and we became the coolest kids in the office that day.


• a photo i took in san francisco a million years ago on a lousy camera was included in the Schmap San Francisco guide! man, this photography stuff is EASY. i actually didn’t ask for my photo to be included; the editors found it on my Flickr photostream and said, “hey, can we use this? we won’t pay you, but you’ll be famous on the internets.”
  
  despite already being famous on the internets, i agreed because i’m a nice person. the photo was taken at the California Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park and even features a cameo of Mo (at left, in black jacket) walking toward the entrance. i’m embarrassed to say we ditched the place right after i took the photo since the line was too long and admission was too pricey, but the readers of the Schmap guide will never know this as they’ll certainly be too busy admiring my fancy camerawork.


• Mo and i attended a walking tour through “historic” Highland Park, where we saw a bunch of cool craftsmen houses in the Sycamore Grove part of town. most of the houses were built in the early 20th century and made me drool with envy because they were so epic looking. it was neat tour, made neater by the fact that it was led by local historian Charles Fisher, who knows pretty much everything there is to know about the area, so much so that he wrote the definitive book on Highland Park, a book i bought for Mo when we first moved here.
  
  i learned a lot of very important things on the tour, none of which i will ever be able to recall since my memory has a way of resisting the admission of historical facts, but the tour was an awesome experience nonetheless as it allowed me to enter lots of strangers’ homes and look at the way they live, which is one of my favorite pastimes. i took some photos of the tour (in case anyone cares). i only hope that one of them will be published in a Schmap guide of Highland Park someday.

Hail to the Hail

LA has been acting a lot like Seattle this past week with rain nonstop and hailstorms that have covered my deck in slushy ice. it was the closest i had come to snow in many years so i got excited and took a picture of it. then i called my parents and friends to ask them what they thought about all that crazy hail. “it’s crazy, right? it’s almost like snow, but wetter like rain!”

this was met with many what-the-hell-are-you-talking abouts, which leads me to believe that the hail only landed on my house because i couldn’t find a single other person to agree that a hailstorm happened. but it happened, and it lasted for a good half hour and sounded like popcorn in the microwave. the ice took its sweet time melting, and i stared at it for a long while, pretending it was snow and marveling at the idea of Los Angeles having a winter that actually felt wintery.

as cold as it was the night of the hail — in the 40s, brrrrr! — snow seemed like a real possibility, and i imagined making snow angels in the mornings like i’ve seen people do in the movies. then i’d put on my wool socks and have a cup of cocoa, even though i don’t like cocoa so it would taste more like coffee, while the fireplace snapped and crackled. then Mo and i would play board games and make s’mores.

i’m sure my friends who live in places where snow is real and not imaginary will be quick to advise me (as they have before) to put away my tomahawk and headdress and quit embarrassing myself with the Appalachian snow dance i seem to do every winter, because snow is actually more pain than pleasure, especially when it lasts for months and requires constant shoveling of the driveway. and i’ll admit that i only want snow if it matches my romanticized notion of it being all about puppies, rainbows and sugar sprinkles on cookies. the icy roads and frozen limbs do not enter the fantasy.

yet each winter, like clockwork, i find myself buying way more jackets than i need and getting excited whenever rain is predicted in the five-day forecast. i find myself imagining that my coffee with half-and-half is really cocoa with marshmallows and that the central heat at home is really a fireplace in the ceiling. at work, i find myself gazing at the snow-capped mountains i can see from my window, wondering at how cold it is over there and thinking i should drive there immediately to find out and test the warmth of my new jacket.

i’m sure my fixation on snow is a lame case of the grass being greener — snow being whiter? — as i would never entertain the idea of moving away from sunny LA, precisely because the weather here is so damn good. and i’m sure it does not go beyond wanting to play in the snow for maybe a week or two every year, provided i don’t have to dig my car out of it each morning to get to work. still, it would be nice to melt a snowflake on my tongue or build a snowman with a carrot for its nose. it would be nice to experience a season the rest of the planet understands.

My New Camera

it’s a Canon Powershot G10 and it’s caused me to be all sorts of trigger happy lately. i must have taken over 1,000 photos already, mostly of the dogs, who offer a never-ending canvas of cute. the photo at left is my favorite of the bunch.

i didn’t have a particular reason for getting the new camera besides just wanting it really badly, which is usually a good enough reason for me. and when the holidays rolled around, i asked santa for the camera in a lengthy letter i sent to the north pole. of course, i also asked him to bring joy to the world and peace on earth in addition to the camera.

sadly, he didn’t bring any of those things, because he’s a fat, fictional, lazy bastard who wouldn’t come to a jew’s house anyway, so i picked up extra freelance work, made some cash and bought the camera for myself. hear me roar, santa!

overall, i loooove this camera and have spent many days with it strapped to my neck like a dumb tourist. i can’t lie, though. it intimidates the hell out of me with its fancy knobs, switches and settings, none of which i have any mastery over. but i’ve been reading photography sites galore in an attempt to figure out what an aperture does.

it also frustrates the hell out of me, as any shot i’ve taken and liked has been the result of blind luck. i’m not exaggerating when i say that all the good shots i’ve fallen ass backwards into, which only reinforces my belief that photography is really about being in the right place at the right time. sure, having a good camera with nifty settings that you actually know how to use helps, but i don’t really consider picture-taking a fine art, at least not in the same way that carving a figure out of a block of marble is.

still, i have seen many beautiful photos, both online and in some of Mo’s books, that have been very inspiring. but whenever i’ve tried to stage a shot i think might look nice or even conduct a photo shoot with the dogs, the light ends up sucking or the dogs end up moving, leaving me with a zillion images of an underexposed, blurry tail in the corner of the frame. i am, however, determined to improve my skills (though please shoot me if i begin to call photography my “hobby”).

the good news is that i can finally discard the awful FujiFilm hand-me-down from my parents i have been using for years, a camera so old and ugly that it has been discontinued. also good is that the photos i will post here should be of higher quality from now on, which means don’t expect to see many images of my old and ugly mug as the G10’s intense resolution renders the pores on my face big enough to swim in. instead, please accept photos of the cuties. here’s another one.