Friday, October 29, 2004

Indecision Over a Big Decision

the big news of the week is that i've decided to start my own business. it's something i've already wanted to do, and recently when i was talking to a girlfriend of mine (ms. zahra bizarra), we were listing off the things we really wanted to do in our lives. i always knew i wanted to be self-employed ultimately and then the epiphany: why not now? it was so clear and simple. i began to daydream of all the benefits: flexible hours; unlimited earning potential that will be a reflection of my effort, rather than a predictable amount i'd get no matter how i perform at work; no commute; no friggin boss; no risk of being fired for insubordination; more time with my baby juice; greater opportunity to travel on a whim; and more time to focus on my other, more important ultimate goal: writing. like real writing -- telling my own stories instead of others' stories, which i would be doing as a journalist.

the bad news is: i think i'm over journalism. i never really had that fire inside me to be a journalist, and it's not worth faking. i'm no woodstein. this might sound lame, considering i just accrued $20K worth of debt for a master's degree in the friggin field, but i think it'll help oodles in my new business endeavor, in terms of "qualifying" me to do good work and charge premium rates. and if i'm really honest with myself, i went after that advanced degree mostly out of boredom, partially out of vanity, and partially out of sibling rivalry (my sister has an MBA). also, that advanced degree somehow qualifies me to become a teacher, har har, which may be fun. so yes, no regrets.

but back to business: it will be a sort of one-stop copy shop, where i will provide copywriting, editing, proofreading and copy consultation services. it'll be geared toward all kinds of businesses and (graduate-level) students. this is stuff i know how to do, been doing forever and i'm confident in my competence. there are certainly many more details to this, which i am still hashing out. and i'm not under any delusion that it'll all be peaches and cream. i'm prepared for the hard work, crazy hours, sacrifices, financial instability, etc., that something like this brings. but i believe it will all be worth it. and i recognize that it will take some time before it really takes off, which is why i'm going to keep temping. so yes, i have realistic expectations.

the big dilemma: what the hell do i call this thing? i've been mulling this over for weeks now. a name -- that first impression -- will be so vital in attracting new business. i can't take it lightly. the problem is the world wide web, which is too vast -- all the good names for web sites have been taken. i'm left with the dregs. for obvious reasons, i prefer a .com over a .net web presence, and i want to avoid hypens. ideally, i want a sophisticated name, something that screams competence and professionalism, like The Final Draft (web site already taken). here is a list of potential names i've come up with, for which web sites are still available:

a preliminary poll of some of my most creative friends found to be the clear winner, but i'm not convinced. someone mentioned that the idea of surgery is unappealing, and what i'll be doing is more polishing than dissecting, so it's not exactly apt. but was taken. someone else mentioned that the 'golden' reference makes him think of piss, so i don't know. words have weird connotations for different people, which is why it's important to find a pleasant-sounding name that will make most people feel warm and fuzzy inside. i don't want to appeal to the lowest common denominator necessarily and i want to avoid gimmicky stuff. and i'm not sure i want to include the word 'editing' in the name as many people have suggested. it goes beyond just editing services (also available are proofing, copywriting), though 'editorial' might be a nice, all-inclusive alternative.

i don't know. i don't think i've heard the right name yet, one that covers all the bases (and is amazingly still available online). do you have it, biyatch? best email me if you do:, and leave suggestions in the comments box. thanks for playing.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Wanted: Web Designer to Overhaul

must be cheap -- a student looking to expand his portfolio might work best. must be local and willing to meet with me periodically. must be quick at getting the job done. and must be good at taking direction, for i shall retain complete creative control. send queries to, and visit the schlock that is to see your assignment.

you know craigslist now charges $25 to post a job ad? figured i'd take this route before dropping my quarter on it. someone must know someone who can do this for me. it's not that big a job, and it's something i've been meaning to do for months now. i would do it myself, but as evidenced by the existing site, i'm a crappy designer. besides, i no longer have access to dreamweaver. the only thing i'd want to leave the same is the home page, which i think is rather nifty. everything else is open to rearranging.

who can do the job? if you know, tell them to email me pronto.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

The Boyfriend

(i figured his serving six months' time made him deserving of a post his very own. plus, i'm sure i can use it as leverage for a nice meal sometime or getting the dishes done, saying, 'remember all those nice things i wrote about you on my blog, honey?')


i'll confess i had a hard-on for him from pretty much the get-go. i remember walking into this yoga studio in my old neighborhood, which was new to me at the time, and being instantly struck by the instructor. he was tall and handsome, with ocean blue eyes that shone out of his head like a lighthouse. a positive energy swirled all around him. he had a gravelly voice and magnificent smile. i was intruiged (but i was also in a relationship, as was he).

i kept coming back to his class weekly, loving the type of yoga he was teaching, gaining strength in my own practice, and often drooling while he folded himself up like a pretzel during the more challenging poses in class. we became friendly, sometimes flirty. we had dinner together once, struck up an acquaintanceship based mainly on yoga and on other common interests we soon discovered we shared -- eastern mysticism, self-realization, better-living-through-chemistry type things.

but the lust in my heart still burned brightly, and when we both found ourselves suddenly single, a friendly dinner led to drinks at my place. this was back in april, i think. at first, i thought little of it. i had a harem to assemble and i was thrilled to have him in it, seeing him as a sort of conquest. but then things took a life of their own. we began to talk, play scrabble, call each other daily. there was neither time nor desire for anyone else. i realized that what i long regarded as a piece of meat actually had a brain. he made me laugh, and, perhaps most importantly, he made me think. we'd have fiery debates, always finding something to dissect.

and ever so slowly, he made me feel, helping me transcend my shallow state of being and reconnecting me to what i certainly have always been: a one-man woman. six months later, this is a bonafide (and healthy) relationship. he's my boyfriend now (but probably not forever).

one would assume that the best part of dating a yoga instructor is unlimited yoga at my discretion, but it's not that cushy. while i was getting free yoga at the start of our courtship, the building in which justin lived and had his studio was bought earlier this summer and he was promptly evicted, leaving him with no place to stay and no studio to conduct class in. (luckily, he had a day job.) so he began staying with me; this was in july. and the unlimited yoga? well, he's "over it," having practiced nearly every day for eight years, teaching class five nights a week for over two years, he needs a break, he's yogaed out. it's all about dodgeball now for him, and that leaves me shit out of fucking luck for my yoga practice. so no, there are no sexy one-on-one yoga sessions, but i'm working on it.

and i'm also working on my garbage baggage, the dreadful issues i've always wanted to avoid but have accrued in recent months. i'm trying to deal with them independently of him, trying not to make my problems his problems, trying not to punish him for things others have done. yet i do sometimes find myself searching for that expiration date i'm sure is stamped somewhere on his body, and i worry about cheating in a way i never had before. but it's nothing too dehabilitating, and i'm pleased with what i got. take a look...

just minutes after we shaved a mohawk into his head

he's also a terrific step-daddy for juice