This Year So Far

hello again, blog! sorry i’ve neglected you for so long. i’m not really sure why i did. it wasn’t intentional or conscious, more accidental and needlessly cruel. but i have thought about you often. on the running to do list i keep on the dry erase board on my fridge, you’ve remained a bullet point for weeks as they stretched into months. you’ve sat quietly and patiently, never once mocking me, as i’ve bypassed you in favor of other items like “buy car seat covers,” “research patio furniture” and “call insurance company.” none of those are as fun or creative as you, yet still you got back-burnered. well, no more. we are together at last, and i promise not to abandon you again.

i have missed the way you document my life for me so nicely, allowing me to flip back through older posts fondly, and some not so fondly, as i reminisce. there has been plenty going on this year and i regret not sharing those things with you earlier. but if you will allow me to now, i’d like to catch you up on things i’ve been doing without you, so that there may now be a record of them in you. and sorry again, beautiful blog. i hope you’ll accept this love letter to you and know that we are still BFFs, just like those two halves of a heart necklace we both share confirms. also, your hair looks great today.

 
the new car: i bought it last year when i got fed up with the old car giving me endless transmission problems. (we are not buying a Volkswagen ever again, blog.) the new car is roomy, though it eats gas like a thirsty little bitch despite having only a 4-cylinder engine. it’s a 2012 Toyota RAV4, by the way. drives great and i love it so far. i bought it used from Hertz Car Sales, so it had low mileage and great maintenance records. however, as this was an unexpected purchase, i didn’t have much money to put down, so the new car payments are hefty. the old jetta, which didn’t even make it to 100K miles, was sold to some used car lot for a pittance. as i was leaving that lot, the owner asked whether i wanted to take one final photo with the car, as many people do, and i waved him away while running out of the place. i’m sure he knows why by now.  

 
the holidays: they went exceptionally well (if you don’t count my frequent tears over spending them without my beloved Pinko for the first time). i spent Christmas at Tico’s twin sister’s house, where she erected a velcro bounce house in her yard for the guests and her own set of twins (she has 6-year-old fraternal boys). there, we bounced, drank, ate, laughed and passed the time in a lovely fashion. Tico gifted me a silver bracelet, which i’m wearing right now, and i gave him a GoPro Camera, which he used to take videos of Juice. new year’s eve was spent lying in bed in his arms instead of out on the town, which i guess is characteristic of people approaching 40. no complaints whatsoever. 

 
New York City: if i were less lazy, i would write an entire blog post about this, as the trip made many epic memories for me, but i’ll just relegate it to a bullet point for now. but yes, Tico and i conquered new york city in january and it was an obnoxiously, all capped AMAZING TRIP. we also spent a night in Newport, Rhode Island, at my dear friend’s John John’s house, who we passed most of the time with while in the city as well. we made new friends, walked through central park, hit up interesting tourist and local spots, stayed up late every night, ate and drank way too much, and even got caught in one of this winter’s wild snowstorms that cancelled our flight and gave us an extra day to explore the city.  

one of my proudest moments: though i stopped short of faking an orgasm in a restaurant (my parents didn’t raise no beast!), Tico and i did re-create the When Harry Met Sally scene at the famous Katz’s Delicatessan. then we went down the street to the famous Russ & Daughters for bagels, lox, cream cheese and herring. we also had Lombardi’s pizza and visited the Ghostbusters Firehouse. i came back to LA with an extra five pounds and a renewed love for New York, where i would love to live — if i made millions of dollars.


Russian River: after New York drained our bank accounts and energy, Tico and i headed to russian river in february for a long weekend of sitting around and not doing much. we stayed at my friend Sharon’s cabin, who joined us for two nights, and spent our days visiting antique shops in town and Armstrong Woods National Reserve, which has a 1,400-year-old tree. with a recharged battery, i returned home and quickly planned another trip back to the wood for later in the year. i cannot get enough of those redwoods. they are majestic.

 
me hugging a tree like the (secret) dirty hippie i am: moving to Russian River has become one of my many escapist fantasies, and i’ve begun thinking i should buy a vacation home there like my friend has. during the drive back to LA, this daydream played out in my head like a perfect movie, not of the romantic comedy variety ‘cus those all suck, but more like some sleeper hit with wine tasting and Tuscan suns or something. anyway, i even became obsessed with scouring real estate listings on redfin.com, squealing in delight each time a cheap fixer appeared on the market. then i got a letter from the city about my own cheap fixer and the daydream quickly dissipated into the familiar breathy sighs of first-world problems. 


three weeks later: this is the current state of my concrete back yard. apparently, my next-door neighbor called the LA department of building and safety, whom i have a sordid history with, and complained about a few things affecting our property line — things that were grandfathered in with the house and that the numerous inspectors who visited my house in past few years never once mentioned to me. but now i had to fix them. so i’m fixing them and trying to be all zen about it though the truth is i want to [redacted in case i actually do go postal one day] to my neighbor. as this is my first visit to the high road, i can report back that it is a humorless and lonely place. there will be a longer blog post about the repairs coming shortly. in the meantime, i'm taking many deep, breathy sighs.


the year ahead: oh, right, it’s almost april already (sorry again, blog). yet i’m still in the throes of figuring out the rest of the year, as i have a few things i’d like to see happen. so i consulted the lava lamp at my work cubicle, which doubles as a fortune-telling apparatus, to see what’s in store for my charmed life. 

• hawaii! this is booked already and just the thought of it brings me to my happy place. i’m going with the flight attendant friends i went to Italy with two summers ago (hooray for buddy passes) and staying at my parents’ time share, so it promises to be a very cheap trip. this is the only type of trip i can take because... 

• money: after the double whammy of unexpected car purchase + home repairs, i am firmly in the broke boat. i need to get out, and i will get out, if for no other reason than to purchase my dream vacation home among the redwoods. so i’ve begun to hustle accordingly. i’m looking at renting out the garage i never use while also selling the items sitting idly in the garage to make space for someone else's car/boxes. i would make a joke about selling my body, too, but i think i would need to pay for someone to use that. insert another joke about getting old and wrinkly.

• food: i stopped eating meat so my tacos lately are veggie only. (good thing potatoes are a vegetable.) i went meatless in february and my body has thanked me with rapid weight loss, easy digestion and no more food comas. i’m still eating fish, cheese and eggs so i haven’t lost my mind completely and if a restaurant dish i want has some meat included via chicken stock or clam chowder with bacon (note: clam chowder should have bacon), i’ll eat it without reservations. this is a very fluid pescatarianism and there could be momentary lapses should i find myself in a high-quality steakhouse. so maybe it’s more meat reduction than absolute meatlessness. whatever you call it, my body feels better than before so i’m sticking with it.

• everything else: despite the urging of well-intentioned friends, i don’t see a new dog in my future this year. i could be wrong, of course, and catch sight of a puppy that makes me feel the familiar pinch of cupid’s arrow again, but as of today, i’m not ready. i also don’t see any sweeping changes with Tico and me this year. we’re doing great, approaching the year mark and still keep separate residences despite spending most of our free time together. i love him whole-heartedly, want him to remain in my life and have been feeling very good about where things are, which is why every pregnancy and marriage innuendo i’ve heard has been replied to with an eye roll as they imply that something is lacking. rest assured, it’s not. things are super. he is great. i am lucky. we are happy. sincerely. 

awwww, the shmooptie pooptie cuteness! hearts, rainbows, unicorns! 

ok, enough of that. back to work, turkeys.