Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Hawaii, Part Two

aloha, punks. ready for the second installment of our hawaii series? what follows are details of the eerie psychic experience! oooh. aaah.

Lan Vo
that's her name, in case you ever find yourself in oahu wrestling with life's questions and sixty bucks to spare. she's a vietnamese lady in her forties, maybe fifties, and she has a thick-ass accent i often could not cut through. "please, no smoking, eating or drinking. thank you. have a nice future," the sign near the receptionist read.

since lan is booked months in advance, the only way to get an appointment with her is to arrive early and sign the walk-in list in hopes that some of that day's clients cancel or just don't show up. we were the first ones there at 9am, and lo and behold her first appt was a no-show, so i went in (kiana managed to get her reading first thing after lunch, so we spent the better part of the day there, leaving at around 3pm.)

she took out regular playing cards, prayed silently while holding them, and then had me shuffle and cut them into three stacks. she then spread the cards onto the table separating us and began asking me questions, while gluing her eyes onto my face, which makes me a bit nervous. then she seems to abandon the cards altogether and just begins spewing things out, one thing after another. some are past events, others are premonitions for the future. this continues for close to half an hour, with me interjecting often to ask questions or ask her to repeat herself because her accent's a bitch.

-- past: one of the first things she tells me is that i have two degrees (and i'll eventually get one more, which i think is unlikely). she sees last summer's trip to europe, and that i've been moving around alot (and i will continue to do so, she says). she sees the scholarship money that i received from USC this past semester and that i "make reports" for work. she sees my back surgery and that i have recurring bladder infections, but says that neither is of serious concern.

then, as if in a vision, she sees pablo and begins to describes him, saying that he has three tattoos (he does), one of which is a formula across his back (it is); that the hair on his head is thinning, but he has plenty of it on his chest (all true); that he has a greencard and is not from around here (he's from argentina); describes one of his old girlfriends as being tall and blonde (erin, i've met her); says that he is an engineer who does programming and has recently left his job (true that); and that his name is "something with P and B." there's a lot more pablo talk that follows this, but i'll keep it to myself.

she also sees my ex, describes him, and we discuss him briefly. we then move on to my family, and she spells out my sister's surname -- "N-G-A-I" (her husband is chinese). she tells me things about their marriage, but that their kids will be fine. she tells me how my grandparents died and that my paternal grandpa -- whom i was named after and who died before my birth -- was a "good man." this sends a chill over me.

we talk about my parents and she sees that my dad had a brain tumor when i was growing up and that it made his eye twitch. she also sees my mom's hysterectomy. she also sees the history of diabetes in my family and tells me that as long as i'm careful with my sugar and salt intake, i won't get it. she also saw my dog's hip dysplasia ("she walk funny") and said she has 7-9 years, which bummed me out a bit.

-- future: there was certainly more about the past than the future, which is to be expected. she did provide some insight, however, which i am sure is subject to change. namely, that i'll marry only once, have two girls and a boy ("maybe twins"), will write a book that will be successful, will travel all around the world, will get a new car in the next year, will own a horse (!) at some point in my life, will work in either radio or television, will get a new dog, could own my own business, will teach at some point, will always live near water, and will be OK overall. "you worry too much," she tells me, causing me to smile. she also tells me to go see a dentist because i have a cavity and that my cholesterol is high. (there's much more, but again, i'll keep it to myself.)

i can't explain how i felt when i walked out of there -- definitely rattled, introspective, somewhat elated, somewhat disturbed. i sat quiet for a long time thinking and trying to remember everything.

now, of course i know better than to take this as the ultimate gospel. but i've always believed in the metaphysical and this woman certainly had the gift. she's probably the only one i've ever met who has, and i've seen my fair share of charlatan card and palm readers over the years. this whole experience has left me feeling a bit more spiritual than before.

and although she touches on everything, lan's specialty is health. she told kiana years ago that a lump in her mother's neck was not cancerous and did not need chemotherapy. turned out to be true. i would definitely consult lan on health matters, and probably other stuff as well. i'm sure i'll see her again and would easily recommend her to others. i have her number if anyone's interested.

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