Happy Friggin Hangover

i was ready to decapitate myself this morning. anything to get rid of the throb in my head. three liters of water and half a dozen tylenol later, i still feel crummy. why does a shitty morning usually follow a fun night?

yeah, it was fun and all. thanks to those who showed their lovely faces -- zee, nick, doug, beth and avi. i must admit i was a tad worried when i first arrived at 10pm, as the club was virtually empty and the DJ was playing eighties music. but in what seemed like a half hour, the space filled up and the beats began blasting. we entered the new year, noisemakers in hand, to basement jaxx's 'red alert,' a song i really like. unfortunately, i couldn't sneak in my puppy for the requisite midnight smooch, so i hugged nearby strangers instead. at that time, i was uncharacteristically sober for such an event -- only had a few drinks and a shot of vodka at my parents' place earlier, but on the whole i felt together.

then i'm not sure what happened. i do know that i left the club feeling more sober than i did when i got home -- as if all the alcohol caught up with me on the drive back. it was bizarre, because i know i left the club feeling relatively clear-headed, but by the time i arrived home i could barely walk straight. not sure what happened in between. i have a vague recollection of making drunken phone calls to various friends looking for an afterhours party, which i never found.

(Public Service Announcement: the Milla Times does not endorse driving drunk, and in my own defense i'm very conscientious about these things. i know my own limits, and i've never gotten behind the wheel fully wasted, only slightly buzzed. if i'm too drunk to drive myself home, which is rare, i never do. i wait it out or find a sober driver and urge all to do the same. thank you. drink responsibly.)

this morning, i awoke at noon to a 65-pound dog pawing my face. sparkly confetti was scattered throughout my bed and stuck onto my face and torso. my throat was as arid as the sahara. i was not in the mood.

at first i resisted and tried to play dead. but the pawing became intrusive quickly. most mornings she licks the face, which is so much more pleasant, but on those certain days when she knows it'll be harder than ever to get mommy out of bed -- wham! -- a stinky paw will land in my eye and slide down my cheek, as if it's trying to pry my eye open. so i slowly crawled out of bed, careful not to make any sudden moves with my head, and took the little fucker out. i've had a headache ever since.