Sunday, March 13, 2005

The First Day of the Rest of Your Life

i guess any day can be considered such. but there is something special about the first day of a new job. it does signify the rest of your life, the start of your career, the beginning of opportunity. that's what tomorrow, monday the 14th, will bring for me -- or at least that's the hope. i've spent the past few weeks preparing for tomorrow and i'm really looking forward to it. that's not to say i didn't have my little freak-out when i was walking around the grove shopping center at noon on a wednesday in the sunshine, wondering why the hell i would give up my flexible freelance lifestyle to enter a predictable office space existence. i feared i could never work my new hours of 8am-5pm five days a week. i worried i could never accept authority or take direction after spending the past three years as my own boss. what did i get myself into?

luckily (and surprisingly), this freak-out was short lived, with those fleeting emotions soon replaced by joy at the thought of predictability, stability, and a signing bonus that will serve as the down payment for a new car i so desperately need. my old car has proved itself to be a fickle fucker in the past few weeks and has sometimes decided to simply not start. i must sit there flipping the bitch switch for about 15 minutes until it deigns me worthy of driving it again. and i will pour no more money into having the mechanics seek out the electrical problem they could never find before. so yes, a new car on the horizon. i'm thinking a Toyota Rav4. that car seems very me. it's big enough to throw juice in the back, gets pretty good mileage for a mini-SUV, and them toyotas have great resale value. anyone know a dealer who can get me a great deal?

so these past few weeks preparing for the first day of the rest of my life have been spent making peace with my old life. i was slowed by a nasty flu that kept me bed-ridden for nearly a week, all feverish and achy. i spent a couple days in big bear frolicking in the snow. i engaged in some retail therapy, buying four pairs of shoes and numerous other pieces for my new professional wardrobe. i watched a lot of reality television and cooked many a meal at home. i got my taxes done and secured a nice return equal to one month's rent. with my landlord, i worked on my backyard and deposited some grass seed that will hopefully spring up in the spring. i did yoga and slept late. the only thing i didn't get to do was take that trip to new york. that has been rescheduled for memorial day weekend in may.

anywho, it was a nice way to go out, leaving me very refreshed and ready for tomorrow. there's also been a boy element going on, and i guess that update is overdue. it's nothing life altering, but there's been movement in that arena -- and initially, too much movement. seems like i went on one little date and was suddenly ushered into dude dramaland. there was some craziness where new guy's psycho ex called me up and talked some shit. then i ran into a psycho ex of my own, who got me so peeved that i threw a drink in his face. then yogaman got weird on me. then i got random emails from old flames looking to reconnect. it was nonstop guy dilemmas and it was a little overwhelming.

thankfully, all has returned to baseline; everything's in its rightful place. at this point, i'm still very single. i am dating -- and not exclusively. and anyone who's dating me knows this because 1) they read my blog, and 2) i'm all about the honesty. and what could be more appealing, really? "commitment-phobic good-time gal seeks similar for fun in the sun." how cool is that? i'm a guy's wet dream.

so the nunnery is no more, though i can still poke on through when i want to be entirely on my own, which is often. i have my cake and i'm eating it (which is the dumbest expression ever, because what else would you do with cake besides eat it?) i still feel relatively detached, footloose and fancy-free, and on the whole all is well. let's hope it maintains.

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