Thursday, August 04, 2005

What else?

truthfully, there hasn't been much else going on. i'm still quite preoccupied with my new honey and returning to baseline doesn't seem doable just yet. i intend to ride this crest for as long as i can. things have settled down somewhat. that sense of urgency that kept me up 'till all hours of the night talking to him, trying to learn everything about him, is slowly being replaced by calm. there are weekends; there is time, brief as it may be. plus, i can't sustain this running on empty, where i would go into work after having slept only a few hours, yoked on coffee, distracted by butterflies and just aching to return to the love bubble.

my responsibilities wouldn't wait for me. bills? what are bills? you mean i have to put gas in my car regularly? it won't run on good vibes alone? the reality check arrived when i arrived home one day after being gone for what seemed like many lifetimes. spring in my step, i opened the door to find juice looking up at me with these puppy eyes that incised right into the space where my heart used to be before i gave it to Momo. (awww, isn't that sickly sweet? i think i'm getting a cavity. just shoot me, please. please!) her tail was still wagging, but her food and water bowls were completely dry. so damn deadbeat of me.

i'm getting it back together, ever so slowly. i'm hanging with juice more. i actually went and saw my other boyfriend gym last week for the first time in a month. i paid my bills on the first -- instead of the second -- notice this month. i picked up a book to read. i cooked some meals at home instead of engaging in midnight rendezvous at Bossa Nova. i'm doing laundry again and replying to the backlog of emails i've had sitting in my inbox. but then the weekend will come and lure me back into the cocoon. ah, the silk.

ack, the rats. there are rats or mice or maybe even hamsters living in the hedge in my yard. they've made a nest and there are many of them. i hear and see them scurrying up the tree, across telephone lines, along the fence and back into the hedge where they party well into the night. they never invite me over. i would bring beer. so i must evict them, but i have no idea how. juice loves them and the new drama they bring to the yard. she pokes her face into the hedge, emerging with a snout covered in sticky white flowers and spiderwebs. i worry that one will happen to be ground bound when i let her out, and she'll try to engage in a little cat-and-mouse/dog-and-rat game that will leave her bitten, possibly diseased. who knows a good exterminator?


-- i've been doing tons of freelance editing for an ad agency i used to freelance for before going corporate. cha-ching!
-- my boss at work resigned, leaving me and other coworkers quite uneasy. we've been assured no layoffs, though.
-- work is much more manageable now. no more overtime or stress-induced, panic-filled dreams. my part of the heaviest lifting has been done, and the unsubstantiated rumor is that i did a good job at doing my job.
-- i can't believe it's friggin august already.
-- i desperately need to go out of town.
-- i desperately need to get more sleep than i've been getting. i think i'll start right now.

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