The Meantime

motivation, where have you gone? don't you know how badly i need you to accomplish even the smallest task? you've done gone and left me to my own devices, allowing my inherent laziness to take charge and prevent anything from happening. you've made me neglect my blog and the other blogs i eyeball in my blogosphere. you've let my house get messy and my hair grow too long.

i know it's not your fault for disappearing. we'll place blame where it's due -- on that fireball in the sky. it's evaporated you into smog and paralyzed me with its heat, making me want to do nothing more than nap indoors with a fan pointed at me. and that's precisely what i've been doing. i guess my siberian genes are built for little else.

i took the first week of july off of work and went nowhere. i don't know that i've ever done that before. for me, days off are usually purposeful ones that involve travel. but given that i had a bevy of vacation days stored up at work and no real place to go or money to go with, i sat my ass indoors with the fan pointed at me and got sucked into the vortex that is my house, lounging in the haze with my man and my mutt.

the boyfriend Mo has been living with me these past few weeks, finding himself in between residences and pursuits. he put his apartment belongings into storage in mid-june in preparation for a months-long cross-country roadtrip that he'll be embarking on shortly. in the meantime, we've been playing house.

he kindly accompanied me into my week-long journey of nothingness and in return i accompanied him and his video camera on architectural drives throughout the city. but mostly, we spent a week doing our collective nothing, occasionally following a whim that led us out of the house and into the heat. this summer has been a scorcher so far, with temperatures already into the hundreds. LA can suck that way. i hate sweating.

back at home, we stayed up late barbecuing each night, slept in each morning and enjoyed lazy afternoons filled with sex and siestas. in betweens were occupied by DVD rentals of the first two seasons of "project runway." we ate watermelon. we coddled the dog. pure bliss.

and then, all too quickly, came the return of the work week. bleh. daylong meetings, mad deadlines -- the project i'm working on is reaching its critical mass. luckily, i had post-vacay euphoria to carry me through the first week back at my desk. hope i have leftovers for this upcoming work week, which could suck the hardest.

beyond that, i've already forgotten about turning 30. as predicted by many a peer, the panic dissipated as soon as the big day came and went. i feel silly for having worried so much about it. i can't rearrange the hands of time and at this point i'm not sure i'd want to. i got a mad future to mold. final chronicle of the series, discussing the next ten, to be posted next.

happy summer.