Sunday, January 24, 2010

Dish-Interested Double Feature

please note that Dish-Interested, my nonsensical celebrity gossip column, now has its own fan page on Facebook! granted, i created the fan page to shamelessly self-promote, but i can't create a million fake user accounts to populate the fan page so you need to either 1) do it for me; or 2) become a fan. (option 2 is easier.) thanks for the support and tell your book publisher friends! what follows are the last two columns:

Dish-Interested: 2009 Gossip Roundup

Oh, where does the time go, my superstar friends? Seems like it was only yesterday we were learning about Michael Jackson’s surprise demise. And now we have Brittany Murphy’s cold body to add to the pile of wayward celebrities who can’t get a grip on their prescription drug use. She joins Adam Goldstein (a.k.a. DJ AM) in the roped-off VIP room in the sky — a room Heath Ledger has surely been keeping cozy since his own prescription pill-popping death in 2008. At least he got an Oscar out of that deal.

But who cares about DYING anyway when there is so much more fun to be had by CHEATING? Yes, cheating was the new black this year, as countless celebs got caught with their pants down in the presence of people who were not their spouses, thereby making 2009...

Dish-Interested: Guidos Taking Their Fist-Pumps, Poofs and Self-Tanner Beyond the ‘Jersey Shore’

In an effort to prove that the Hamptons are not the only place to vacation on the East Coast, MTV brings us ‘Jersey Shore,’ a reality show that follows a group of self-proclaimed “guidos” and “guidettes” who spend a lazy summer partying at the shore in a guesthouse paid for by MTV. Think ‘Real World’ but with no diversity. Instead, the housemates chosen for this show are all unnaturally tan Italian-Americans with funny accents in their early twenties.

When they’re not recovering from hangovers, they pass their time at nightclubs drunkenly rubbing up against strangers… and each other. Cue the make-out sessions back at the house’s hot tub, from which spring some spectacular wisdom (in addition to some less spectacular STDs)...

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