1 Down, 11 to Go

when i haven’t been freakishly blissful and appreciating the moment, i have been thinking a lot about The Future. most of my thoughts about This Future are centered on goals i’d like to achieve and poorly formed plans about how to best achieve them.

sometimes the goals are as nebulous and far-fetched as the plans, with many trains of thought leading into a daydream about winning the lottery. other times, they come in a clear and vibrant vision, something akin to a lucid dream where i can push aside obstacles and shatter world records with the flick of a wrist. then, just as johnny depp is about to leave his supermodel wife for me, i wake up.

the most challenging thing about being lost in the fantasyland that is my head is making the leap from thought to action. so far, that hasn’t been going very well. i’ve told myself that this was because january was my "ramp-up month" when i could putz around without purpose, playing with ideas. but now that february has arrived, signifying a year already in full swing, the party in my head has to be broken up by the cops, none of whom resemble johnny depp unfortunately.

to help jump-start (find?) my motivation for Getting Things Done, i’ve decided to resurrect Meatless February, an annual event i initiated last year to great success. a lovely side effect of that meatless month was an increase in energy, clarity and focus — all of which i could benefit from right about now.

i also intend to take a few classes this year, maybe even join a few clubs. sadly, all the pounds of flesh i’ve been consuming in preparation for the meatless month have fogged up my brain so much that i can’t remember what classes or clubs i’m referring to, but i know that there are some on the horizon.

my other big plans all involve the house, which always involves money, some of which i hope to amass during the upcoming bonus season at work and tax season at home. but before those checks clear, i need to lay some foundation in the form of pulling permits from the city, meaning my meditation practice will soon go into overdrive. serenity now, bitches.

beyond that, i’m really looking forward to the summer, probably for the first time in my adult life. i’m stunned by this as i generally love LA’s mild winters, but i find myself itching for more daylight, which i hope to use for accomplishing the many things that have been swirling in my head.

i need to hustle because the year will pash in a flash and, before i know it, next winter will set in and bathe the year in moonlight, making me feel as though i did nothing with my time at all.

One-Hit Wonders: January 2011

... search terms inexplicably pulling up this blog ...

• heavily hanging tits
• man sitting on the couch
• painting in ferris buller day off
• fat kids in diaper
• sexy lacting nipples massage by male instuctor
• hives from crayons
• narcissists and landmark forum
• skunk tomato sauce mtv
• stream amazing little bitches milla
• as the saying goes new years kiss ball

Bloggers Block

i know how terribly interesting this must be to read: a blog post about how i don’t feel like blogging lately. writing about writing is the very definition of uninspired writing — it’s interesting only to other writers but only barely since it’s not very interesting at all. far more interesting are well-written stories about a riveting, enviable life, which is why i’d understand if you stopped reading this entry immediately to search for a blog that characterized such a life.

nowadays, there isn’t too much going on with me, which is probably why i’ve been reluctant to sit down and commit some words to the screen. there’s simply nothing to commemorate. all that meditation mumbo jumbo has turned me into a stable bore. any flux that enters my life passes through like a gentle breeze. there are no tornadoes. i like my friends and my parents. my job is stable, my dogs are healthy, and my house is cozy.

perhaps that’s the news of the day: i’m happy. for the first time in a long time, i feel genuinely content, stable and optimistic. i like how things are and i like that i have a say in where they are going. no singular emotion is crowding me right now and putting me at its mercy. i’m not depressed, worried or anxious. i don’t feel so heartsick anymore. i wouldn’t say i’m overjoyed with every aspect of my life, as there is much to be desired and improved upon, but i’m not obsessing over those details right now.

that’s not to say i won’t obsess over them again (as i’m prone to), or that something won’t suddenly surface to thwart the good vibrations that have been reverberating for many weeks now. in fact, i’m sure that something will, which is why i’ll take comfort in this small victory — where i can sit contently and type out an otherwise boring blog entry while listening to my dogs snore nearby. somehow, today, that’s enough for me.

(but if i begin to sound too much like an LA asshole who spouts off daily affirmations, please kick my ass.)

Stuff and Things

howdy, 2011 — welcome to the world! nine days in, you’re already kicking ass and taking names. let’s hope your happy momentum stays and builds to a brilliant crescendo that lasts through the entire year. so far, everything you have touched has been infused with good vibrations, and not just for this month but for the past few weeks, a time in which a few notable things happened:

• holidaze: this last season was particularly lovely, as i managed to squeeze in the watching of several movies, the seeing of several friends and the laziness of several days spent lounging without purpose. i’m sure there’s a more eloquent way to put this, but in short: i had a lot of fun.

• work: perhaps weirdly, among all this fun and laziness was quite a bit of work. in the last week of the year, i scored two freelance assignments with new clients, and in the first week of the year, two more came. if this is any indication of how the rest of the year will fare, work-wise, i see some fruitful months in my future — and hopefully some home improvements.

• home: the big news here is that i am living alone again, as Wendy moved into her own apartment at the start of this month. she had long intended to bring her dog to LA from Texas, and i didn’t think my two bitches would be receptive to a third bitch in the house — fifth bitch if you count Wendy and i — so, alas, our six-month domestic partnership had to come to an end (though the friendship will live on in perpetuity). currently, i have no plans to get another roommate but we’ll see how the year goes.

• writing: clearly, i’ve been bad with this but i have not forgotten my resolution to get better about writing here and elsewhere, so please hold me to it, internet. to this end, i’ve begun planning my inaugural writing holiday, which will be spent in the florida keys at my sister’s vacation home this spring. there, i will write many words that will form many sentences that will make the whole world sing.

• om shanti: in keeping with my other new year’s resolution to “meditate and shit,” i’m happy to report that i’ve hit up the meditation center by my house a whopping TWO times since the year began. both times it’s been to attend the free public sitting sessions where folks can walk in and sit silently with others who are meditating, which has made the process of clearing my mind much easier to do — as i can ride the tailcoats of people who’ve already done it. (leave it to me to find a shortcut to enlightenment.)

beyond that, i’m generally in love with 2011. and now that i’ve immortalized this on the interwebs, the once benevolent gods will surely turn cruel and make my life shitty.