Wednesday, May 30, 2012

One-Hit Wonders: May 2012 terms inexplicably pulling up this blog...
  • "cabin in the woods" product placement
  • fist of zen tickle
  • large breast climbing instructor
  • houses with garbage toilets in the front yard
  • flickr milla vodka
  • guy hiking in lake arrowhead
  • ripper stripper
  • freckled skunk
  • milla goldenberg tits


Wade said...

That last one's pretty explicable.

Juanus said...

I saw some guy hiking in lake arrowhead wearing a shirt that said, "large breast climbing instructor". So I thought I would ask him if he could teach me a few moves. He informed me that for 19.95 he would teach me the 'fist of zen tickle'. Guaranteed to have you climbing Mount Everest size breasts by the end of the night.
I said, "Mount Everest is nice, but I would like to climb Milla Goldenberg Tits!"
"Size matters not." He said, "Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is."
"Didn't Yoda say that in The Empire Strikes Back?"
"Yes, He was a master of the 'Fist of Zen Tickle' also. That Jedi stuff was just for picking up chicks at bars."

So right then and there I began my training. I became a master of the ripper stripper, which basically involves whispering "flickr milla vodka" into a woman's ear multiple times while showing flashing a wad of cash. That is supposed to get a woman to take her top off in seconds. The only counter move to the ripper stripper is the freckled skunk. Which is basically what happens when the woman's boyfriend finds out you tried to grab her chest, kicks the shit out of you and then drowns your head in an unflushed toilet.

With my training complete, he sent me off to find houses with garbage toilets in the front yard. I asked him what garbage toilets have to do with climbing large breasts? That's when I found out the shirt was just a "cabin in the woods" product placement and I should go to and rent a vacation house. If taking a lady to the Russian River doesn't get her shirt off, then I guess I deserved to lose my 19.95.

Milla said...

one-hit wonders as mad libs. what a combo. thanks for the laugh!

Cousin Jelly said...

"Milla Goldenberg Tits"
when i type 'm' into my google search, that's my 1st result. below it is 'mail'. My fault it comes up in your search optimization.

Milla said...

yay, cousin jelly!!!