i've been wanting to do this little pros and cons list of london living for a while. every time i visit europe, it makes me want to move here permanently, if not for the next 30 or so years until retirement. i thought i'd instantly fall for london and only return home to pack up my stuff, dog and boyfriend and make my way back here. (well, there's also that little issue of finishing my second and final year of graduate school.) but i haven't been as wowed and wooed as i had expected to be by this city. it's good and all, just not great. here's what sucks about it:

Cons
(is the word "con" short for anything, or is it just a standalone thing? email me if you know.)

• anyhow, the thing that bugs me most about this fucking place is the pollution. it's really unbearable, and it may single-handedly disqualify london entirely from my "cities to live in" list. people on bikes wear surgical masks, the buildings need a serious scrubbing from all the black exhaust stuck on them, and the one subway car responsible for cleaning out the tube has been broken for six months. i pull soot out of my nose daily. i'm always sneezing, dirt and dust particles often fly into my eyes, i cough when i take a deep breath, i've even had a few minor nosebleeds.


• the nightlife blows. bars close at 11 pm. i mean, really, what the hell is that all about? there are clubs that are open past 11, but by law they're required to charge a cover. plus, the big thing here is grabbing a few drinks after work. pubs overflow with patrons come 5, 6 pm, many of them spilling into the streets with their brews in hand. but if you're like me and prefer returning home to change, have a bite and freshen up before beginning your evening out, you're shit out of luck. come 9 pm, the pubs are near empty, a few stragglers left in the corners with their brews in hand, looking to get laid.


• did i ever mention how much the food sucks? granted, it has gotten better and will likely continue to improve in the future, but on the whole, finding a good meal is still dependent on luck. ok, the indian food can be pretty spectacular, but there's only so much chicken tikka masala you can eat before the aromatic yet overbearing scents of turmeric, cumin and cardamom sink into each pore of your body and every fiber of your clothing until you can hardly stand to be around yourself. i almost bit into my arm once thinking it was a piece of tandoori chicken. and the coffee is pretty bad too. they mostly use instant granules. grrr.


• in six weeks, i've found the brits to live the stereotype of a stuffy, reserved society that keeps to itself. (though this isn't so different from LA's denizens who are generally shallow, self-absorbed people who keep to themselves.) i haven't met a single british person who i will keep in touch with once i leave. but in britain's defense, i haven't put on my most approachable, people-person face and searched for new buddies either.


• although this summer has been fairly temperate, i know the weather here can be quite disagreeable, with rain pissing down for weeks on end in the winter and a heavy london fog creeping in from the murky, green waters of the thames river. again, coming from LA, there's really no comparison.


• besides the posh and trendy west side, most of london is a dump. it's filled with nasty, unkempt neighborhoods, its streets packed with all sorts of trash.


• there's that whole antiquated monarchy thing going on, which is really a joke, even for most londoners, but it's still strange to think that people here are essentially at the mercy of the crown.


• the whole city shuts down each sunday: pubs, restaurants, stores, markets -- everything really does stop, which would make it hard to take care of errands on weekends. only things left open are the indian restaurants.


• it's prohibitively expensive. costs here are higher and salaries are lower. i'm not sure how people make it. london was ranked the 7th most expensive city in the world, ahead of new york and paris.

Pros
(was "pro" also shortened from some other word? just wondering.)

• culture vultures adore this place for its seemingly endless supply of theatre, live music, museums, annual events, open markets, historical monuments, etc. that energy is palpable and neccessary for urban snobs like me who get bored and restless in the countryside and the suburbs.


• public transport rocks! sure, it's got its fair share of delays, and being packed like sardines in a subway car during rush hour can increase the stench of BO to dizzying heights, often inducing nausea, but it beats monthly insurance payments, weekly gas purchases and having to look for parking.


• a diversity of cultures doubles the stock of any city in my book. nothing is more boring than homogenous towns like portland and tokyo, where foreign faces raise eyebrows and generate whispers. it's nice to walk around and see nice brown faces and hear strange, exotic accents from all corners of the globe.


• it's pretty safe to walk the streets at night, even in somewhat shady areas. guns are outlawed, so violent crime is infrequent, but there is a greater risk of being mugged. and all the walking has done wonders for my fat ass, which has shrunk considerably in the past six weeks.


• besides the fact that london is a mostly fabulous european city on its own (well, kinda, even though many here consider themselves british and not european), it also provides the perfect springboard for impromptu weekend jaunts to prague, budapest and other fabulous places all over europe. the location is key.


• aesthetically, it's not too hard on the eyes. there are plenty of old, well-preserved, gorgeous buildings that just seem to pop up out of nowhere. a nice reminder that you're someplace historically important where a ton of shit once went down. i don't know why, but i like that feeling.


• shopping for clothes here really cannot be beat. good styles, prices, selection.


• they serve my mostest favoritest beer in the world: caffreys. even though they don't serve it at every pub like i had hoped, i can still find it if i really want to. plus, they sell caffreys in four-packs at all the supermarkets.

so that's 9 cons, 8 pros. hmm...maybe not the right city for me? i don't know. perhaps i need more time here, though six weeks in a city, especially working in the city, should give you a good idea of its vices and virtues. for now, i'll keep it on my short list. (not that i'm in a position to seriously consider a move and have so many options to choose from, but it's fun to dream.)

stay tuned tomorrow for another photo essay. and if you're my good friend, you should know that tomorrow, june 26, is my friggin birthday and you should know that i love my birthday and make a big deal out of it. and if you're not a good friend and have somehow stumbled upon this blog, send me a greeting anyway so we may one day become good friends. send kind regards to milla666@aol.com.