Friday, February 20, 2004


things have improved on this end, as far as my innards go. i had a couple of loopy days there where i thought they needed to cart me off to the looney bin. i couldn't cope at first, but now i've regained my footing.

i suppose my last post was a bit vitriolic and i don't mean to shut people out. it was just fucking annoying after i first split with pablo the wave of pity that came my way. people constantly calling offering everything under the sun, inviting me out to the movies, girls at my school running up to me in the halls and suddenly trying to hug me, everyone asking "are you ok?" and then having to retell the story, decline offers politely and so forth. perhaps i'm being unfair. i'm sure it was all sincere, but it was still fucking annoying, and lately i'm feeling twice as irritable.

i'm trying to go on like normal, trying to find furnishings for my new living room, trying to focus on my assignments and trying to pull myself out of self-pity mode. give me time with the last one. i need to wallow a bit longer and i know that falling apart won't do anyone any good. but it's hard to just "snap out of it."

the bright side to everything is that i've lost 10 pounds without even trying.

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