34: The Party

cancers rule: because my house is still not ready to receive an influx of guests, the annual birthday party this year was (again) a joint venture held at Raidis’ house and featured a star-studded cast of friends who helped us celebrate our big day in style.


the style: i bought a red dress for the occasion — new shoes, too! — had my makeup professionally done by a kind neighbor and endured this hair treatment called the Brazilian Blowout, which is basically a relaxer for white girls that should make my hair appear freshly flat ironed for three months. in short, i spent way too much money for one night and only regret that i didn’t take my hooker look to the streets to make some of it back. oh well, drinking with Raquel was much funner.


more drinking: Nick and Chad are pretty fly for white guys.


the eating: in case you don’t already know, i’m slightly obsessed with bacon and actually missed a bacon-themed party my friends Michelle and Kevin were throwing on the same day because of my stupid birthday. a dozen bacon-maple doughnuts from Nickel Diner helped me (and Cerreah) grieve.


the twins! i’m not suggesting that all black people look alike, but these two really do. in addition, Phillip and Polly both have names that start with the letter P. coincidence? or just a coincidence? you be the judge.


cute couple alert: newlyweds Damien and Kelly are sort of perfect together.


another cute couple: Wade and Courtney are also newlyweds who met at a party i threw many years ago. i suppose this makes me a jewish matchmaker of sorts.


all the single ladies: Fellas: Grace is also single — and clearly stunning.


the magic chicken: in addition to my bacon obsession, i’m also enamored with a tiny plastic chicken that promises to make all my dreams come true. it works in the same way that a genie does, except that i can ask for more than three wishes. in truth, it works more like The Secret, where you set an intention and the universe delivers.


factory farming: the magic chicken is the brainchild of my crazy friend from espain, Juan, who has spawned quite the cult following for the little bird. there is a Magic Chicken FAQ, a facebook fan page and a customer support number. and here he is inculcating Ann and Justin into the magic chicken army.


Elliot with his chicken: the bright side to my Landmark Forum experience is that i made a friend there. thankfully, Elliot is good natured enough to withstand my merciless teasing about the fact that he continues to take Landmark classes. i’m hoping the magic chicken cult can lure him away.


c/o ’94, represent: i am one of those weird ones who still keeps in touch with her high school friends, mainly because they are fucking awesome. from left to right: Raidis, Marina, Anna, Sergio, Cassie, Mike, Valerie, Suzanne, Cintia, Chris, Nicole.


Sergio, Cassie, Deo: more high school friends doing what we’ve always done, 16 years later. ok, that suddenly sounds very sad. i swear i’ve made friends since high school.


here are some now: Felicita and Bumni ham it up.


there’s only one: the crazy espaniard himself, the chicken pusher, lovely Landmarkian, Keshot founder and long-time friend of mine, Juan Juan Juan, whom i love love love.


another love: have i mentioned how much i love my Ann?


and yet another: and also my Marina?


ok, one more: and Polly too? in addition to a few notable others, some of whom were pictured already — Raidis, Zee, Sharon, Grace, Zahra, Courtney — these girls comprise my life support system.


after midnight: i felt the love flowing all night, sometimes even overflowing, particularly when i slipped into my bacon shirt and was eaten alive by my friends.


what’s that over there!? with a little redirecting to the red velvet cupcakes, i managed to escape unharmed so i could ride out one of the best birthday parties i’ve had in ages. thanks to all who showed and made the first day of my life as a 34-year-old fabulous.