Metacritic Triple Feature

here’s proof that all the time i’ve spent neglecting this blog has been time well spent. i’m pretty stoked to be writing about reality television, a long-standing guilty pleasure of mine. now if i could only figure out how to parlay my addiction to taco sauce into a career, i’d be set.

the first article ranks the 10 best and 5 worst reality TV competitions of all time. i’ll confess only to you guys that i haven’t seen all the shows i ranked, just read about them online, but i definitely plan to see VH1’s “Tool Academy” because a show that turns douchebag reform into a competitive sport sounds awesome.

Ranked: TV’s Best and Worst Reality Competition Shows
When Survivor and Big Brother premiered in 2000, the competitive reality show was all but unheard of. By 2003, the Emmys had created an award for Outstanding Reality-Competition Program, which followed on the heels of the award for Outstanding Reality Program, created in 2001. In 2008, the hosts of reality programs were honored with a category of their own.

Today, there are schools for people who aspire to be contestants on reality competitions. And there are competitions that test virtually everything — from one’s kitchen skills to modeling chops to design expertise, with prizes that include professional contracts, cash money and even the chance to...

next up is a ranking of “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” seasons, which didn’t go over very well with the Metacritic crowd, who left very few comments on the piece, most of which amounted to “these shows suck and i can’t believe you bothered to rank them.” whatever, cool guys. i had fun writing this and, most importantly, i got paid to do it.

Ranked: Best and Worst Seasons of The Bachelor/The Bachelorette
We can only imagine how insane industry types thought the idea for The Bachelor was when they first heard it in 2001. Find love on a reality TV competition? Who would sign up for that? And the final couple is supposed to get engaged at the end of the season after dating for only six weeks? Surely, no one is that foolish. But foolish they were and they did sign up in droves, producing 14 seasons of the hit series and six of its spin-off, The Bachelorette.

Hosted by the timeless Chris Harrison, the franchise has kept a loyal following through the years of contestant cattiness, whirlwind dates in faraway places, hot tub make-out sessions and, of course, the most dramatic rose ceremonies...

finally, we have a list of must-see reality TV premiering this fall. worst thing about this article is that the “Untitled David Hasselhoff Project” had not yet released details at presstime so the show had to be omitted from the list. (i’ll catch you next season, Hoff!) best thing about this article is the first comment: “Cool, more partisan leftist ideological hackery soaking through even the most politcally irrelevant articles. And the left wonders why the rest of America is so fed up.” i love the internet!

Fall Reality TV Preview: 15 New & Returning Shows
As the summer winds down and kids start getting ready for school, the fall lineup of reality TV programming follows, with the networks rolling out a show for every night of the week. The crop of returning series this season is mostly predictable, with tried-and-true reality favorites such as Survivor, The Apprentice, America’s Next Top Model and The Amazing Race — all of which are premiering a double-digit season. Shows featuring trainwrecks are also making a comeback, as evidenced by Hoarders and Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew.

The new series include Sarah Palin’s shamelessly self-promoting TLC special on the great state of Alaska, plus MTV’s intriguing take on documentary filmmaking, The World of Jenks. This season also debuts recession-themed programming, seen in the WE’s new series Downsized and the unemployed executives competing on...