Friday, May 14, 2004

I've Done Gone and Gradumacated

yippee!!!!!!! today was the big day, big big big. the culmination of two years' hard work. all the blood, sweat and tears that have stained my mouse pad over the stress that was graduate school finally paid off, and i feel fabulous. light as a feather, free as a bird, happy as a clam and every other positive-spun cliche you can think of. i could barely sleep last night in anticipation of today, and when that alarm went off i popped out of bed alert, electric, excited. the day moved pretty quickly, and parts of it felt surreal. i went to lunch after the ceremony with my parents and aunt, and could barely focus on what was being said. i just kept looking up at the cloudless sky; i felt like it was mine today. just kept looking up and over to the horizon, wanted to see what's behind it. that's where i'm headed.

i know by monday the best stuff will likely have waned and the realization that i'm just unemployed and 20K in the hole will start to sink in. and i know that ultimately this fancy degree means nothing. it's up to me to make my life work and i don't need a degree to do it. all i need is to steady my drive and work toward a goal. it's been crystallizing. these past few weeks have made miracles happen. all the tumult of the first half of the year suddenly seems justified. it's molded me, bringing me to this point where i'm on my own, in total control and incredibly lucid. i get it now. and the second half will be mine to mold. and the one thing i'll never do again is doubt my instincts, for they are my compass.

in other news, today marks my one-year anniversary as a blogger with and this here is my 100th post. funny, a year ago today i was preparing for my big summer in europe, my grand internship with voice of america in london. oddly, i wouldn't want to go back there and switch places with today. having graduated feels better, less uncertain in some strange way.

and thank you, kind friends and strangers who've been sticking it out, reading this shit for the past year, laughing at me, with me as i embarass myself time and again in this public space. i promise to offer you more entertainment at my expense -- with all this new time on my hands, i'm sure to while some of it away here. and yes, with all this new time, if you find yourself in need of a copyeditor, a drinking buddy, an activities partner, whatever, just drop me a line. i'll be happy to oblige. and now if you'll excuse me, i'm going to have a beer while reveling in the fact that i have NOTHING to do.


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