Thursday, March 18, 2004

Dating Supermachine

look at me procrastinating! my poor spring break is crawling away from me and i have nothing to show for it. well, my place is very close to done, so not exactly nothing. i'll post some digital pix of it up here when it's fully presentable.

now onward with the dating updates:
  • in reference to that date i mentioned in the last post, i got stood up! the nerve of some people. i guess it's just an occupational hazard of sorts, but it was rude, and i shot the dude off a nasty email telling him so. haven't heard from him, so that's the end of that one.

  • another dude, chris, so smartly googled my name when i sent him a link to an article i wrote and actually found this blog, sending me the funniest email in response. here's a snippet:

    Your "hook" is..."I'm smarter than you." Funny, witty, flirty, you know?
    You can't take it on face value. You've even said....nope, I'm just dumb
    and sober....knowing that you are now being sarcastic and probably still do
    believe in your intellectual superiority.

    You even send me a link to an article that you've written, which I enjoyed.
    Reviewing gay porn has always been an honorable profession in my book. For

    Your name is on the article. First impulse...check google to find more
    articles written by you.

    Wait a minute, the Milla Times?

    You know where this email is heading at this point. I bet even you have a
    weird squeamish feeling right now too.

    All I got to say is "God, I hope I can be in the rotating harem." Please
    please please!!!!!

    (an aside: the tagline to my profile reads "i'm smarter than you," and i've gotten a cavalcade of responses from seemingly insecure men who ask "how do you know you're smarter than me if you've never even met me?" or "i don't think you're smarter than me, but we'll see about that." lame. sense of humor, please. i'm not sure why these guys are taking it as such a personal affront, but without fail, it's the lede in every response i get. on some levels it's working out well, as the calibur of men coming my way seem more interesting than before. but for others, it just overshadows the entire interaction as if it's some competition, evidenced by chris who signed his email "i'm smarter than you, chris." good job, chris, let's all congratulate him on his fancy detective work. given that it has happened before, i knew it wasn't out of the realm of possibilities when i sent him my article, but he probably won't believe that since he's so much smarter than i am. and if you're reading this, chris -- and i know that you are -- welcome to the yard where the big dogs play. but beware the alpha bitch. she bites.)

  • last night, i had a date with, let's refer to him just as w., and it wasn't a bad date. another could be better, could be worse date. yes, still too short for my taste, cute in a boyish way when i'd rather have hot in a manly way, but he wasn't too bad. a sensitive cancer type and i do love my fellow crabs. i'm a bit on the fence about a second date, but he offered to cook me dinner, so it's likely.

  • i have another date with a brand new guy on tuesday, and hopefully i can get one more lined up for next week. the biggest problem i've been having is keeping all their stories straight. i'm juggling about half a dozen in various stages of the getting-to-know-you process. i think i'm talking to so and so from that and this, when it's really so and so from this and that. i get my facts fumbled all the time; even their names are hard to keep straight. i was calling paul 'peter' for the longest time, and their professions, hometowns, life stories -- damn, it's hard to listen when you really don't care. now i know what men must go through.

  • here's another bit of my profile: WHY YOU SHOULD GET TO KNOW ME: Because I'm a firecracker. Because you want to find out if I'm really smarter than you. Because I'm silent when I listen and insightful when I speak. Because I hate drama but love intensity. Because I'm generous with my affection, and my compliments, though rare, are sincere. Because I can drink you under the table and write you a poem, maybe in the same night. And, finally, because I have a great rack.

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